Confessions of a Superstar

so a post....finally

2010-08-05T22:35:00.001-07:00

hey guys i know i havent been very up to date with my posts and i also do realize i say that in almost every post lol. and as much as i love to blog and have so much stuff going on i just dont have time unfortunetly to blog everything. so if i was to write everything thats been going on this post would be a million pages long so ill condense it for you so it wont be so boring for you guys to read haha

so Lets talk about N ugh that boy. he drives me crazy one minute he acts like he wants to be with me than the next minute he acts like he doesnt want anything to do with me so i dont know whats going through his mind. because in my last post i was freaking out because one of his friends was going to be my date for my birthday party but it turns out i told him not to even come so i could be with N and it ended up being an amazing night with him and i really was glad that happened. but then it seemed to just be a rollercoaster ride after that. cause he had a date with some guy that ended up not working out i guess cause he doesnt talk to him anymore which is a plus for me but a while after that one of our mutual friends who we will call K comes into the picture. one night i guess N invited her over to go drinking with him...i guess he didnt want me to go lol. and i guess he was all over her trying to hook up with her the whole night...which is something i do not understand whats so ever because hes gay....lol but whatever so i was really mad at him and didnt talk to him for a while actually went like a week without seeing or talking to him which is a record for me lol. but then of course i started getting lonely again and missing him so i talked to him and hung out with him and it was not the same. i guess cause i was still mad at him and just that was the last straw so whatever than i realized i was done with him and just didnt want to see him anymore. but then he would always come up everywhere! i mean we have the same friends, we know the same people, it would be really hard to just drop him. so i started thinking i have to accept the fact hes gonna be in my life no matter what and i jut have to seperate those feelings from what i should be feeling for him which is him being only my friend. and then that works really good for a long time about a few weeks and i moved on started talking to someone else and just forgetting about him in that sense. and then bam! guess who comes back and tries to swoop me back up again...

Just the other day he came over to my house with K because as she puts it she is trying to fix the way us three were before all that shit went down. and i was lie whatever i really didnt care at this point. but then having him here having him be close to me just brought back unwanted feelings and i wanted to be strong and shoo them away but they didnt go away. and he was holding me on the couch and he starts nibbling and licking my ear which feels amazing!!! and he knows thats my weakness and i love that so much so he starts doing that than we make out a lot and its really nice and i feel safe and it just feels right having him hold onto me keeping me warm. i just felt like i was where i needed to be which is completly stupid but its true. so now hes coming over tomorrow and it will be me and him and we are having a movie night which will be really nice and i just get to be with him which is what i really want. i wish i could make things work with him but i know deep down it wont. we havent even had sex yet and im still really attachted to him which i dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing but i guess we will see.

but anyways i think thats all ill type for right now. and i will make it a point to post some more maybe tomorrow but probably not because N will be here so maybe the next night but i have a reminder set so i dont forget!! but would love to hear from all you guys and everything i will now go read your blogs and catch up!

KINDA FREAKING OUT!!!

2010-06-21T02:54:00.001-07:00

ok so tonight i think i made a horrible mistake....ok so if you read my last post you read all about N and how much i really really like him. well....thats true. but for some reason today i was talking to this guy i met at pride and he asked me to be his date for his bday party coming up. well i also am having a birthday party coming up and am dateless but wanted N to be my date. but me and this guy im talking to lets call him M kinda hit it off and he asks me to be his date for his birthday party....so like a stupid retard i agree... then the conversation came about to my party and how i dont have a date and then by the end of the conversation he ends up being my date for my birthday. fuuuuckkk so now i dont know what to do!! M is gorgeous though like extremely gorgeous. N is hot too dont get me wrong. and the thing about me is when someone shows a little interest i get all into it and get a little carried away...obviously.....ok so with N i really really like him. alot completley fallen for him. and of course hes coming to my birthday. and hes even bought me a present already. and now im torn....i am a horrible person!! i got carried away with M and now i could have potentially screwed things up with N.

i know what i need to do is talk to N and see what he feels about me so i know for sure so im not being led on and if he is leading me on then i can move onto M but in the meantime i dont know what to do...

oh and it gets better guess how i met M through N!!!! hes one of N's friends and he kinda barely introduced me to him at the festival this weekend. and so M added me on facebook and weve been kinda messaging each other and IMing and what not and then tonight happened and i dont know what to do about the whole situation.....

so what do you guys think? i know i need to find out what N thinks and i might find out tomorrow but other than that would should i do. i cant believe i even put myself in this situation....but i did and i need to get out of it because i dont want to do this to N if he does really like me. because i feel this is exactly what happened between me and C he started seeing someone else while i was seeing him and it hurt me really bad. and i dont want to do that to anyone else. especailly someone i really like like N...,.....

uuuugggghhhh any advice?

long over due update lol

2010-06-20T01:46:00.000-07:00

ok so last post was about the pride festival being the next day. well yes the pride festival happened and it was awesome!!! had so much fun got a bunch of free stuff and lots of condoms they were giving them out like crazy lol. which is good. but the main reason i had so much fun was because i saw N it was awesome i really like him so much, so he was volunteering there and so throughout the day i would take him water or just see him and say hi and it was nice. then he left from volunteering early to come hang out with me and a friend i was with. and that was super fun. everyone thought we were dating lol and it was so funny lol after a while he stopped correcting people lol. i didnt care i was like heck ya lets just say were dating lol. anyways after the festival was over he asked if i wanted to have a sleepover. of course i did!!!! lol i wasnt sure if i was going to sleep with him that night but i was freaking out in my head thinking of all the stuff i would need to do before having sex you know the basics. shower, shave things like that. but luckily we didnt hook up. and yes i do say good thing.

see the thing is as much as i need to have sex right now. with N i dont want to sleep with him yet. i want to take what we have or what we could possibly have slow. i dont want to rush into things like with C. that was horrible. but with N everyone is telling me be careful with him and its making me worried. im already scared and worried about the whole thing.

but anyways i spent the night at his house and all we did was make out and we made out a lot and i really liked that. he is an amazing kisser. and then we cuddled it was awesome. then the next day we just spent the day at his house and then it was getting kinda later and he didnt want me to leave but he didnt want to be at his house so we went to my house and he spent the night again. we didnt sleep at all!! it was horrible lol we didnt have sex we just stayed up. that was nice too then we spent monday together and it was just amazing

then the week went by and i was missing him a lot. then yesterday we were going to go shopping and then to dinner with some work friends of mine and then back to my house for another sleepover =) we slept more than we did last time. he downloading some things on his computer just for me. hes so sweet. and im pretty sure my mom saw us kissing lol oh well i dont care but it was still funny lol. my mom was hanging out with us kinda all night we got smashed and it was just a whole lot of fun. i was all over him though. in front of my mom. i didnt care lol i was hugging him and putting my head on his shoulder and then we cuddled on the bed it was awesome. i really like him so much ive been spending so much time with him and hes just amazing. but one of my friends whos known him for a long time told me to be careful with him because hes not the boyfriend type. he keeps a boyfriend for about a week and then its over. im just thinking, i love how shes looking out for me but i dont want to hear that i dont want my bubble to be burst because i do like him so much.

it was so cute today because for his birthday i told him i was going to give him 20 bucks for his birthday and i never did so he asked about it. he wanted his 20 dollar birthday present so he could buy my present and get me a card....isnt that cute!! omg i like him so much...its gross how much i like him. i talk about him all the time. hes always on my mind. and i just want to talk to him forever and never stop!

but im scared....really scared. i dont want to get hurt by him. i dont want to sleep with him and him decide thats all he wanted and move on. i really really dont want that at all. i want to sleep with him and actually be with him. with C he slept with me a few times and that was it. and that would have been cool if he didnt tell me how much he liked me and how he wanted a relationship with me and then go see someone else. sorry still a tad bit bitter about that situation lol.

also ive been gooing through this depression mode lately where it has just been really bad...then i start talking to N a lot more and i am doing a lot better. im not drinking so much because im not so lonely. so im hoping this works out for the best.

hes so cute too!! omg!! and the thing i really like is he hasnt tried to sleep with me. which could mean two things. 1. he wants to take it slow and doesnt want to ruin it like i do. or 2. he thinks of me as just a friend who he makes out with occasionally. but soo many people have told me that he wouldnt make out or hang out with me as much as he does if he didnt like me more than a friend.

hes so hard to read i dont know what hes thinking half the time. and he talks about the most random stuff just to cover up what hes really thinking. but i dont know what hes thinking. its so hard to read him.

but one day we were at his house after the pride festival and he was sitting on top of me facing me and we were making out and he looks at me and he goes "sorry if you can feel my boner on your chest kissing really turns me on" i dont think i felt it but i had a boner too and i said it really turns me on too and we kept kissing but no sex....which again is good!! i dont want to sleep with him yet.

another thing that sucks is i cant talk to K about it because shes just so bias and doesnt believe hes not the type of person she thinks he is. and shes my best friend and i cant tell her anything about him without her giving me bad advice.

but anyways i better stop typing. i get into a groove and i cant stop lol i love to type. and i know this is already long and your probably tired of reading. ill continue soon.

xoxo
superstar

tomorrow!!

2010-06-12T02:41:00.000-07:00

soooo my pride festival is tomorrow and im sooo excited for it!! lol ive never been to a gay pride festival before so im like really excited lol and i get to see N tomorrow too and im soo excited to see him.

he called me the other day....i missed his call cause i was asleep =( but i texted him when i woke up and told him to call me later. but we were texting like all day!!! totally made my day! and then today i was texting him and guess what! he calls me!!! he wants to hang out with me before he has to be where he needs to be for the festival because hes voluntering and then he wants to maybe hang out after too!!! lol

im like a little girl i get so excited when he talks to me lol which is stupid but idk i like him. i told K i was going to see him tomorrow and shes like ugh why do you like him. but i honestly cant come up with anything. thats bad huh? hes cute and an amazing kisser!! like an amazing kisser omg noone has ever kissed me like he did. not even C and i liked C a whooooole lot more!!! but damn! that boy knows how to kiss the sparks were like amazing!!!!! lol i cant even explain it lol

but that cant be the only reason i like him there has to be something else...there just has to be...ill figure it out lol. i just know i really like him a lot. hes all i think about when i think about guys. i dont want to do anything with anyone else because they arent him. except for another guy J i think i might have talked about him. i almost hooked up with him on cinco de mayo and i really like him to....but theres something about N i cant get over lol. and the fact hes actually been talking to me consistently for the past few days is amazing!! lol aaaand he said hes coming to my big party im throwing in a few weeks!!! i just want him here! lol

well ill let you guys know how tomorrow goes. who knows i just might find another cute boy to go after lol it is gay pride after all lol. there will be lots of cute boys there lol

hey guys

2010-06-10T19:47:00.000-07:00

soo guys guess what internet is now on my computer!!! holla!!!! so now hopefully i can even post a lot more posts lol. which is good. and then i can get my blog out there a lot more too which would be really good.

so lets see whats been going on this past few days or so lol....

so i told you K bf is in town for the whole summer and its super annoying because hes like a little puppy dog and cant keep his hands off her. its suuuuuper annoying!!!! but whatevs shes happy and thats all that matters. my depression mode is kinda going away slowly but i know once i come out of it something is going to happen to bring it right back. but hopefully not. lol

i woke up this morning happy. i had a missed all from someone i wanted to talk to, N, too bad i was asleep lol but i texted him when i woke up so we could talk and he actually texted me back and weve been texting on and off all day its nice. and i get to see him for sure on saturday so im super excited for that.

this saturday is gay pride in my town and im suuuper stoked for it. ive never been to a pride festival so im super excited to actually go to one. and plus n will be there so thats why i want to go so bad lol

lets see what else is going on.....i have no idea....lol well ill think of something and fill you guys in

xoxo
superstar

update...

2010-05-31T21:02:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, I know I haven't blogged in a while but I've just been so busy. Work is taking up all my time by the time I get home all I wanna do is sleep. Haven't been able to get my computer yet but hopefully soon. So I'm still doing everything on my phone, which slows me down...a lot lol.

So let's see where I left off. Me and C are over turns out he strung me along and when he decided I wasn't good enough he went to someone else. The thing is...if he would have just told me he wanted to have sex and then move on...I would have been ok with that. But no he kept telling me how much he liked me and he could see us working out long term. Which got my hopes up because I really liked him and then I found out he started seeing someone else. Super depressing but oh well. I'm kinda pretty much over it now. Took 2 months but whatevs lol.

And then there's N. It was his birthday a few weeks ago and I decided to go over there you know hang out. It was his birthday I wanted to be a good friend. K flipped out on me saying how I blew her off and how I chose him over her and blah blah. It actually turned out to be a good night. It was just me, N, and another friend (my ride) and me and N ended up cuddling of course lol. Then my friend decides she wants to leave. She was my ride so I had to go with her. Which sucked cause I was not ready to leave yet. So while were waiting for her to get ready he pulls me aside and just starts making out with me and it was soooo nice. I really really didn't want to leave him. See the thing is I've had a thing for N forever! Like seriously the longest time. And I still do. So we were leaving and he walked us outside I gave him a hug and my friend him a hug and he was giving me this weird look...so I gave him a hug and then kissed him goodbye it was cute. So that was a good night and then I went over to another friends house to party. And plus another boy I like is there lol. So I hung out with him all night but I wasn't all over him like I usually am. I was texting N the whole night lol. But me and this other guy H almost hooked up once....

Cinco de mayo, me and H were really getting close that night we ended up sleeping in the same bed. He was naked lol (cause apparently he doesn't sleep with clothes on which is funny cause I've seen him sleep with clothes on before lol) so we were laying there talking and I was playing with his hair and we were getting really close we already made out by this time. We were making out like the whole night. So we started getting into it started touching each other it was hot lol and then....he passed out lol right in the middle of it. He was so drunk though I'm surprised he was awake for that long lol.

So anyways that's another boy I like right now. But the thing is H likes girls too. And my friend from work is his best friend and they've hooked up.....he pretty much lives there. So it would be hard for me to have a relationship with H knowing that. Id be so scared that he would do something bad. Lol and plus he drinks like a fish. Seriously but he's gorgeous! And he's super nice and funny. So maybe just hookup buddies would work lol. But knowing me I would get attached and end up being hurt at the end lol. That's just how I am.

I'm the type of person that gets attatched very easily. I fall for someone almost immediatly. I mean look at me and N all we've done is made out and cuddling and would do anything to be with him. I guess maybe its because I'm so new at all this dating, and boys, and sex. I don't know how to handle it all quite yet. But I think ill get there.

I just know I really want someone special. Someone who wants to hang out with me all the time. Someone who texts me and I get so happy I can't control my facial expression. I want that so bad. Someone who surprises me by doing something amazing out of the blue. I'm totally ready for that one person to come into my life and make it a whole lot better. I wanna know what its like to really like someone and have them like you back. That amazing feeling you get when you can't stop talking about them, or looking at a picturee of them, or your mind is constantly on that person. I'm completely ready to have that.

Well I guess I've vented enough for today. Hopefully ill step it up and be able to blog more often. I really do enjoy it. It let's me get a lot of things off my chest. =)

Xoxo
-Superstar

...sigh....

2010-04-21T01:08:00.000-07:00

Thank you guys for your advice. And it might not be what I wanted to hear but its definitely something I guess I needed to hear. Its just really hard because I do like him sooo much! And he tells me he likes me too but idk.....I was suppossed to see him tonight but his party didn't go down and I texted him and he didn't text me back so idk....

The first night it was only about sex. But he started saying how much he's liked me for so long and all this stuff and I felt a really good connection with him and it just made me fall for him. And I tend to get attached easily. So it couldn't be just about sex. And he never talks about anything in the bedroom. I guess its not to easy for him to talk about idk....

I need to find someone who I can talk to and be with all the time. And I'm the type of person who would love to spoil someone. Take them out, buy them things and just be with them. Like after all that happened with N all I wanted to do is be with C just to be with him. Not sex necissarily just to be with him and hang out.

So about N. He's definitely someone I need to distance myself from. Because I know if I was in the same situation as I was this weekend the same thing would happen to me because I can't control myself because in a weird way I do like him. And I can be hurt and mad at him for what he did but its so hard for me to get over someone and I know that I would let him do that to me again.

That night I spent with him just cuddling and holding each other got to me waaay to much! I enjoyed it soo much and I just felt like I was so loved and I didn't feel so lonely. And then the next day I just felt like I got punched and soooo lonely! I realized I don't have anybody special to just hold on to when I need them.

I was hoping C could become that person but I have doubts on that unfortunetly which is soo hard for me to say because I'm not a negative person I'm always the one to think positive. But I just have felt really down in the dumps the past few days. I couldn't even focus on work today because I was in a different state of mind.

But I know a few people who have people they want to set me up with haha. And I know from now on I need to keep my guard up and not be so open to falling for someone.

And its so hard for me to because I like sex. And if a cute guy is hitting on me I'm gonna let it happen and then maybe fall for them and then get hurt but idk....I'm gonna start trying really hard.

But thank you all for the advice. And if you haven't read my posts from yesterday please read and let me know what you think please :-)

Xoxo!

venting time

2010-04-20T04:53:00.000-07:00

ok so a while ago i met this guy N who i liked right off the bat. he was cute, funny, fun and i just all around liked him. he gave me his number and we were kinda texting and i would text him pretty much everyday and we would talk a little bit you know and then one night i got a little drunk and told him i wanted to have sex with him. and i felt like it got kinda awkward and we didnt text as much and now we barely text ever! and so this weekend....i came over to my friend A's house for a party and he was here and we were all hanging out ad then me and N started making out and then we were just making out the whole night lol. it was nice because i liked him a lot before. so i thought i was gonna get some but it didnt work out that way but thats ok!! we ended up cuddling on the couch and falling asleep here and there watching a movie and everytime he would wake up he would kiss me a little and make out with me it was a really nice night.

so then the next day which was technically yesterday (monday) we were hanging out in the morning and i had to go to work and so he asked me to stay with him and miss work...soo the stupid person that i am...called in sick...well we were having a pretty good day and then we heard from one of his old "best friends" he hasnt seen in a year or so....whos suppossedly straight and has a girlfriend who i met!

so once his friend got there he kinda started ignoring me a little bit. and i was like ok him and his friend are catching up you know no big. so then we were watching a movie and he was all over this guy....like he was on me the night before. and i was like...ok....and i was a little confused and so he just ignored me the rest of the night and then they went to bed together....i dont know for sure if they did anthing but the way they were acting it was obvious something was gonna happen...it just makes me really mad....and i was really upset earlier because it was just so rude i think....and i dont know exactly why i care so much but....i do. so at the moment im hating him....

oh ya and my friend K was here partying with us on sunday night when we were making out and she told me he told her he was just teasing me so i can want him and he wouldnt do anything with me......she doesnt like him in the first place so idk if he really said that but im pretty sure he did. but i just dont know what to do...

but anyways just thought id vent that out a little bit lol.

dont forget to read my post below this one to give me some advice please it would be very much appreciated!!

and p.s. ill try and keep you guys updating within the next few days on these situations im gonna try and get at least a little bit of sleep now.....thank you guys!!!!

uugghh stupid boys

2010-04-20T04:41:00.000-07:00

ok so i know i said i was gonna try and post more often but i really havent been able to because i got a job and its full time and i just ever have any time to blog. but now its like almost 5 am and i am at my friends house using her computer so i thought id blog because i need some serious advice and just need to vent.

ok so i need advice first. so my friend S has this friend C who is really cute and ive met him a few times before and we kinda hit it off a little bit but last time i saw him was when he had boyfriend. so one night i was out clubbing and it was really lame so we ended up leaving early and right when i was leaving S calls me saying shes at C's house and he wants to hook up with me. so at this point it had been 3 months since i had sex so i was wanting it. so i went over there. so we were hanging out he was really really drunk and we were talking and he kept saying how he really liked me before and how when he broke up with his bf he was too nervous to text me because supossedly i was too cute for him lol. so i dont know if that was the alcohol making him say stupid stuff or if he was really feeling that way. so we ended up having sex and it was amazing!!! like absolutly amazing! and we just totally connected i felt anyways and then i really started to like him. so we kinda texted a bit after that and then i kept trying to hang out with him but when i was free he was busy and vice versa so it took us 3 weeks to finally see each other which was last weekend. and we got to have sex again and it was still really good. but so now the thing im worried about is....he hasnt really been texting me since then. see the first time we hooked up he blacked out and didnt really remember anything but the second time he remembered everything soooo im worried that now that he remembers he doesnt like me anymore because idk maybe i wasnt that good or idk...lol

but!!! there is a chance i might get to see him tomorrow night after work...well tonight....and so hopefully i can put all my paranoid fears behind me. but well see. i want to know what you guys think? i really like him and would love to end up maybe having a relationship with him. so i wanna know if he feels the same way about me as i do about him.

so what do you guys think about him not texting me after? for two days i didnt hear anything from him. i even texted him first and no reply.... so i just wanna know what you guys may think....

It finally happened.

2010-03-25T00:04:00.000-07:00

So as you know from yesterday I have a lot of stories to tell you guys from the past few months so here's my biggest news that I couldn't wait to share!

So if you've been reading my blog and you pretty much know a lot about my life and everything.

Well a new page has been turned. I finally had sex lol. It happened in January but since I didn't have a way to blog I couldn't tell my story right away lol. So here's the story

So you all know my best friend K. Well she broke up with her boyfriend (the one I made out with lol) and then to get back at him she slept with his cousin. Lol....

Well we were all at my friend S birthday party in a hotel room and K wanted to bring that guy over cause she needed a little reliever lol. Well it didn't really work out that way lol.

He found out I was there and that I was gay so he decided he wanted to add me into the equation. Lol so instead of a threesome it turned into a twosome with me and him lol.

So here's how it all played out.....we were hanging out drinking and then we started winding down and getting ready for "bed" and it was in a hotel room and me and S were in one bed and K and that guy were in the other bed. It was just a little room. So we ended up all texting each other and he wanted me to get in bed with them but I was sooo nervous and I was scared it was gonna be really really awkward with K being right there. So I finally got the nerve to go over there and were laying there talking and then I feel a hand start unbuttoning my pants. It was him, K in the middle and then me. He was reaching over K to get to me and I started returning the favor and reaching over K to get to him. Lol and so she was just awkwardly in the middle lol so he basically just told her to get out of the way so she got out of the bed and then we just started making out.

And I was so lost I didn't know what to do or anything. And the guy wasn't very talkative so I just did what I kinda thought I was supposed to do haha. I just went down and started blowing him and then he grabbed me and made me turn around and so we got to 69 for a while and it was awesome! And so after like 15-20 min of that I got on top of him and he was gonna stick it in me but we had no lube so after a few min of trying to do it like that I finally told him to give it to me from behind lol that did the trick lol. It felt really good! I was scared cause I didn't want it to hurt but it didn't it felt really good lol.

And so after he finished he totally just turned around and fell asleep =/

But its not over yet lol I wasn't fully satisfied cause I didn't even get off! So I was gonna get off no matter what lol. So after a few hours of him sleeping I decided to wake him up by touching him and then he started to get hard while he was sleeping so I just kept stroking it. And he woke up and started stroking mine and then I grabbed his head and made him go down on me and then I got a nice satisfying blow job lol and he swallowed and went back to sleep after I stroked him to completion and then I finally got to go to sleep lol.

So that's my huge news! Lol I'm no longer a virgin! I had sex with him once after that and then he started like getting obsessed and I just stopped talking to him cause he was really weird. Lol

So now I'm in search of more boys to sleep with ;) lol

2010-03-23T18:56:00.000-07:00

Bloggers!!!! I missed you soo much!!!! So let me explain myself.....last time I blogged I was in the middle of moving....and so we moved and got kinda settled in....and....we had to move again! So I was busy doing that!! And then I didn't have my awesome internet phone and I don't have a computer so I couldn't blog when I actually had the time!!! So its been a few months since I last blogged I'm very sorry! And its crazy because these past few months sooooo much stuff has happened that I've been dying to share with all of you!

So in the next few days I will be filling you in month by month letting you know what the heck I've been up to! I can just make one giant post but I don't know if that's such a good idea lol.......so today will be this post telling you I'm back for as long as possible and that by Friday we will be all caught up on my life.

So this will be the only post for today only because! I have an awesome night planned. I get to go to a club opening! Vip access! And everyone in my group gets a complimentary bottle of grey goose to themselves! Sooo I'm about to get tore up from the floor up tonight! Wish me luck hopefully I get to meet someone tonight! =)

Oh and don't worry I will not abandon you all again. At least not without telling you everything that's been happening! So stay tuned your gonna wanna hear my stories!

Oh and I noticed I have more followers! Welcome! I hope you enjoy my stories!

still a kinda virgin...lol

2009-12-21T03:22:00.000-08:00

omg so ok....my night tonight. was absolutly wild and crazy!!!!

so what im about to share with you guys is totally crazy and i mean if i cant share it with anyone else other than my blog followers who else can i share it with lol.

so first of lets say what happened in the beginning. i came over to K's house which was totally awesome because i want to see her and everything and i missed her. and i knew i wanted to get absolutly sooooo drunk!!!!! so i brought a bottle of vodka and she bought me a 40 of old englush (ghetto right hahha) well i drank half the bottle of vodka and half of the old english and i was smashed!!!! i mean smashed!!!!! i could walk, focus, stand, see, nothing lol. so after a while i starting feeling sick so i kinda threw up lol. and then i was fine and then we were chillin it was me, K, her boyfriend and another friend who we can call S. well me and s have known each other for a while now and everything and it was suuper fun hanging out with her. and before i threw up we were making out. lol i made out with S, with K's boyfriend (dont worry shes fine with it lol) and K!! it was sooo fun! usually i get kinda grossed out with the whole tongue in my mouth thing but it didnt bother me i guess because i was in the moment and everything was awesome lol. but anyways thats not the interesting part lol

so me and S were just chillin on the bed we made out a little more (after i brushed my teethe though haha) and we were talking about how im a virgin and how i need to lose that lol. so we all decided my virginity was gonna be gone by the end of the night lol. so we were making out and then we all decided we needed condoms so we were gonna go to the store and then i threw up again lol. so after i was done with that and me and K were talking and saying how we were both ok with what was gonna happen and everything i brushed my teeth again and then me and S went into the room and she was taking my clothes off because we pretty much decided we were having sex tonight lol and she was feeling me up and everything and heres the part i can only share with my blog followers. it wasnt working!!! i wasnt working down there! idk what happened or what but down there was not working out for me so good. if you know what i mean. so after a while of feeling it up and then she sucked on it a little bit it got a little excited and then we put a condom on and then she got on top of me and then we tried and then.....guess what happened.....it died again lol.

it was sooo lame! we were both naked i felt her up she was feeling me up everything was good and then she got on top and it just went....dead lol.

now idk why it happened im guess probably because i was hammered lol. but idk....but she totally knows how i like boys and i am more attracted to boys than girls and so she understood so she set me up with this gay bpy she knows who is really cute. im sure it wouldnt turn into something more than just a fling but i know i would want my first time to be with someone hot lol. and believe me he is lol. we were texting a little bit and everything and hes really nice. and seems like a good boyfriend but he told me hes not really looking for a boyfriend so thats totally fine with me.

but the sad thing is i couldnt do it! i totally had my chance to have sex and it totally wasnt happening. which is ok S is my friend and idk what it would have down if we actually did do it but i guess we will never know lol

but i am starting to ramble and kinda fall asleep typing so i will post tomorrow and see if i remeber everything anyways lol.

tomorrow night

2009-12-15T00:06:00.000-08:00

Hey guys. So tomorrow night is the night everyones going out clubbing and I am hoping soooo bad to go. The only thing keeping me from going is how poor I am! Lol I absolutly have no money lol. I want to go sooo bad. Not only do I love going out but there's a chance one of my friends wants to bring a guy for me to meet =). Hopefully everything works out!

I've been stuck in the house all weekend and I am ready to party!!! Lol its been way to long since the last time I partied...mainly because of the move and stuff. But I'm just crossing my fingers to go!

So let's see what else is going on in my life....absolutly nothing lol. Its hard to blog when nothing exciting is going on lol.

You know what I need....a sugar daddy! Ha! imagine that lol.

Well hope you guys had a good weekend and everything was awesome!

Zac always makes me feel better =)

2009-12-15T00:03:00.000-08:00

here's some pictures of zac to cheer everyone up =) he is so cute! I just can't get enough of him. I have to admit though he wasn't that great looking when he was younger but when he got older he turned into a gorgeous piece of man!

Oh and ps the picture of him with that little boy its so cute! Idk if that's his relative or just some little kid but it looks like he is soo nice and caring.

I can't wait to go to the beach one day and see him there all wet and half naked. Lol I would defintely take as many pictures that my camera would hold! Lol I can dream lol

tonight!

2009-12-13T00:30:00.001-08:00

Hey guys. So tonight was fun. I went out to dinner with some friends and it so fun because now our new house I am closer to everyone so I have more freedom to leave when I want. Lol

So dinner was fun just a few friends having some girl talk time lol. And in a few days we are supposed to go clubbing and guess what?! One of my friends has a friend, a single friend she wants to hook me up with =). I think that would be awesome! I don't know much about him yet but I know he's going out with us when we go to the club. I'm excited! Now I definetly have to go. Lol.
So that's pretty much all that's been happening in my life lol.

Oh idk if you guys remember from a while ago but A who was expecting a baby isn't expecting anymore, they had the baby a few days ago. I guess it came out looking like him because I haven't heard anything about it lol. (There was some speculation lol) but I'm happy for him. I have been thinking about him a lot though lately. I know its silly to think about someone who's absolutly 100% unavailable but its a little hard to get over him lol. A few weeks ago I went out of town for thanksgiving and I was so close to him! Like so close! It was sooo frustrating I wasn't able to see him. Lol but that's enough about that lol

I'm thinking of starting a video blog also. I have some kinks to work out but I'm hoping it will be able to happen. So stay tuned. I think id be able to be more in contact with people that way. I would still blog here too so don't worry about that. I'm serious about trying to make this blog better than it was before.

Oh and one last thing. I'm trying to figure out why its so difficult to post comments on peoples blogs using my phones web browser so don't feel left out if you don't get comments from me. I am reading your blogs though. It works on some blogs but not everyones. Lol.

Well ill talk to you all later =)

here i am!

2009-12-10T19:29:00.001-08:00

Hey guys. I know I haven't blogged in forever but now I actually have a good reason lol. I was moving into a new house which took foooorever!!! And have just been suuper busy with a lot of other things and just haven't had the time.

I missed blogging so much because there is always something on my mind and I know I can always express it with you all here so I hope I can be more on the ball about it.

My blog has cobwebs and I'm here to dust them off. Hopefully I will stick to it lol. I will get this blog up and running better than before and it will be a lot easier now because ill actually have more life experiences to talk about because I am closer to everyone since I moved so look forward to that =)

And also if there are any new bloggers that have started blogging since I've been gone fill me in. In the meantime I'm gonna read some of your blogs and see what's going on in everyone elses lives =)

some new info

2009-11-20T01:45:00.001-08:00

Hey guys what's up with everyone?

So lately my life has been sooo lame! All I do is stay home and text and not even anyone important lol that guy I was texting we don't text anymore for some reason lol....oh well lol. I did like him cause he told me cute I was all the time lol.

I've been thinking about A a lot lately...it would be weird for me to just text him out of the blue...and plus his baby mama has his phone all the time anyways so its no use. I miss him though he was freaking fine as hell!

Me and J done really talk anymore idk why I'm sure if I texted her she would text me back but I don't necissarily have the desire to text her so idk...maybe this weekend. I'm gonna be with K pretty much all this weekend so that will be fun.

I've also decided I'm gonna be devirginized by the end of this year. Its not the act of sex I want to experience its just the act of being with someone in that way, having that connection with someone to sleep with them. You know ever since I've started hanging out with everyone since I moved I haven't met one virgin! Its like by this age they don't exist. And I don't mind being a virgin in a group of not virgins but when its all everyone talks about it makes it a little hard.

Does anybody by the age of 19 know any virgins? Lol ya I doubt it lol

But I'm serious about the talk always being about sex. And I mean aaaaalllways! And I just sit there quiet...and when people find out I'm a virgin they are completely shocked! Its ridiculous. Noones ever even seen down there except my doctor lol. And that hasn't happened in a long time either lol. I might have sent a dirty picture maybe but I don't exactly remember lol. I've seen a lot of dicks but noones ever seen mine lol.

So what do you all think of my little situation?

Thanks guys

.......cant think of a title

2009-11-16T10:49:00.000-08:00

Hey guys. I feel sooo bad for not blogging in what feels like a month! But I have actually been busy lol. I have been at K's a lot lately and my phone is always dead there! Lol. But I'm at home now and felt like blogging. So here's what been going on lately.

So me and that guy who I've been texting haven't texted in a few days but my phone has been dead so I guess idk. Lol I was at a party like last week and met this awesome guy. And he was gay so it made it even better. Hopefully it isn't the last time I see him.

Oh and all my friends know I'm gay too which is not a bad thing. I didn't tell anyone people just assumed and I stopped correcting them I figured why waste my energy and just live it! Lol. I'm happy about it though no worries.

I have a new best friend!!! She's not a replacement from K she's still a best friend but I have another one! She's sooo awesome and we get along great. We are already really comfortable with each other its so much fun! We can call her "R". Ill be talking about her a lot so.

What else.....I'm moving out of my house soon and I will be waaay closer to everyone and be able to meet more people and have a good time which is amazing!

I haven't had a chance to read peoples blogs so I'm gonna catch up on my blog reading tonight.

So I've totally missed everyone and my blog has cobwebs on it which makes me sad. So I'm gonna try really hard to blog more often. But we will see.

There is something I wanted to talk about though. My week at K's house was fun but all everyone ever talks about is sex! Sex sex sex sex nothing else! I'm usually a quiet person anyways but when the conversation comes to sex (which it always does!) I'm just a little person in the corner not doing anything. Because I have nothing to talk about when it comes to sex because I have never had sex so you know its just a little awkward. And all the couples! Omg its soo weird when your with a group of people who are all couples and your the only one who's alone. Soo many times this past week I was the 3rd wheel or the 5th wheel its just sucks! Especially when my phone is dead and I can't use it to pretend I'm doing something haha.

So I will try and blog more I know I used to blog like every night and then I just stopped idk why exactly I just got busy or tired idk. I do really miss blogging though lol and hopefully when I move and am closer to everyone ill have more interesting stuff to talk about lol

Well thanks guys for reading =)

sooo sorry!!

2009-11-05T16:38:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone. I'm sooo sorry I've been kinda non cosistant with my blogging and I'm not gonna lie I really haven't been busy just lazy I guess lol.

So my last post. I was saying how I met this guy and we've been texting and we haven't really been texting as much as we started to but that's ok. We talk about everything even people we are interested in like J and he has this girl or whatever idk lol but anyways its been fun.

Oh and thanks for the advice to be careful don't worry I would never meet someone in person that I met online alone. I would take K or someone or have her be in the background somewhere lol. Just to be safe lol.

So me and K are in a weird place we haven't been in the same place we usually are. Its kinda having me worried but whatever happens happens. Right now at this point I think we could use a break from each other for a while because I think we both are a little frustrated with each other.

Halloween was this weekend. Mine suucked! Big time! I was totally alone and by myself. In a way I guess it wasn't bad but it did kinda suck. It seems when we are single and alone holidays are just a huge reminder that we are alone lol. Don't get me wrong I looove holidays, Halloween especially but I noticed this year that being alone on a fun day like halloween sucks! Big time! I had noone to share the fun with. But J did ask if I wanted to party with her but I had no way of getting to her so it kinda sucked. She sent me a pic of her costume though =) it was really cute! Its taking sooo much of me to not text her every 5 minutes but I don't want her to think I'm bugging her so thats a problem. I can be very desperate sometimes.

Like with K I'm trying to take a stand and let her know things are not ok with us so I'm not texting her or anything until she contacts me first so I'm just waiting right now lol. But I am trying so hard not to be desperate and text her because I do want to talk to her and make up but I want to make a point that something is not right. So we will see how that works lol

So as you may know I am unenployed and so I venture over to the unemployment office and while I was searching through the jobs there was one where I had to talk to a counsler and see how they can help me get the job. Well it turned out the person who helped me was really really cool. He was gay and he automatically could tell the same for me so we talked a little and he was really cool. So helpful too I'm really glad he called my name instead of any of the other people there, I'm sure they are nice too but I'm glad I got him. He was telling me about this place where young gay kids hang out and stuff and I was really happy to find out and maybe I could go and venture out to meeting people.

so now that I am back I will read some blogs. I'm having some problems commenting so don't feel bad if I never comment your guys post. My phone sometimes doesn't work lol. But I'm reading them =)

OMG!

2009-10-29T14:23:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone I am so sorry I've been kinda gone lol I've just been a little crazy. So in my last post I said I had a halloween party and so it happened and it failed we ended up leaving and going somewhere else. It sucks cause I put so much work into it but whatevs it was alright.

But that's not what I want to talk about. So I've been saying how I want someone to talk to and text and maybe end up dating or something. Weeeelll I have news! I kinda might have met someone =).

So I was trying something new and did something kinda lame. I posted an ad on craigslist.org and to my surprise some people replied and there was this old guy who was kinda scary and child molesting looking and he was kinda old and not very hot. But there was this other guy who replied. Someone who's the same age as me and we just started emailing and we found out we have sooo much in common. So by this time I knew I wanted to keep talking to him. So we exchanged numbers and started texting!!! Omg right! We ended up texting all night! Like we were up until like 430 in the morning texting! How crazy is that! We have sooo much in common like almost everything we are practicaly the same person. And one of the first things we did was exchange pictures. Just our faces no dirty ones lol. The thing is I kinda told myself I wanted to like the guy before I saw pics so I would make sure I wouldn't see him and say eww and blow them off. But I figured it should be ok. So he sent me a pic and he wasn't bad looking maybe a new haircut but not bad. No zac efron mind you but you know. But we still ended up texting for hours! Then he texted me again today and were texting for hours too!!! how awesome is this!

He also said to me that if I ever wanted to meet and get together it would be on him...awwww! I think I might be seeing an actual date in my future! Since we kinda were thinking about next week. And the cool thing is we are both unemployed so I won't feel like I'm a scrub and he won't feel like a sugar daddy lol. This is soo exciting!

You know what he also said...he said I am the hottest guy he has ever seen! Isn't that soo nice! He's a virgin (like me) he likes boys and girls (like me), he's in the closet (like me) we are soo much alike!

What do you guys think? You guys are who I tell everything to, I share so much in this blog and I love that! So what do you guys think? Meet a guy online and meet up with him? This is so exciting!

But also in my mind is on J. I am constantly thinking about her! But she hasn't texted me back in a while...I wonder why that is...idk it has me a little worried why she hasn't texted me. But I am always thinking about her and how much I like her soooo much! so getting involved with this guy when I'm thinking about J would be kinda bad. I wonder if I would be good at this lol. Dating is a little nerve racking I've never been on a date really. ...... how lame is my life if I'm 19 never been on a date....lol

So there's a lot other stuff id want to talk about but I will save it until tomorrow I want to hear what you guys think about this. =)

Thanks guys

hmm....no title drawing a blank :D

2009-10-22T02:38:00.000-07:00

haven't posted in a few days or gotten the chance to read peoples blogs so fogive me. Lol I've been really busy planning a halloween party I am having this weekend!!! I'm sooo suuper excited for it. Its the first halloween party I've had in my new 5 story house so I'm excited!

Aaaannd something else that's exciting is J is coming!!!!! And sleeping over!!! I mean I'm not expecting anything but I have a lot of situations that could happen and they are all playing in my head like a movie soo I'm really excited to see if anything happens!!!!

So as you may know there has been some drama surrounding J you know with K hating her and me liking her so its gonna be interesting to see them both at my party this weekend =/ I'm not too worried about it. I mean I feel like I shouldn't have to choose between the two....oh well it will be ok. Lol

So part of me wants something to happen between me and J and another part of me doesn't want to because I feel if we do hook up that's all its gonna be....I want a relationship and I want to be able to call someone my boyfriend or girlfriend and then sleep with them....but I think I'm 19 and I feel like its time for me to break out of my shell and finally do that big thing called sex! Lol but I'm not gonna just give it up because I want to like I want a relationship not just a one night stand...especially for my first time....I guess ill just have to wait and see exactly what happens lol

You know what else I was thinking. I'm here its 2:30 am and I wish I had someone to text...I mean I wish I had someone to text anytime of the day but I'm just sitting here alone bored out of my mind! And noones awake! Lol but that is something I've always wanted is someone to text during the day who makes me smile and just someone I know ill probably never meet face to face but just to text and send crazy pics to each other and just be cool! That would be soo awesome!

Here are some questions for readers to answer just to get to know people better. I always like to know people better and love meeting people.

Does anyone have a texting buddy? How was everyone elses first times? Or is there any other virgins like me =) would be awesome to hear some first time stories or anything really lol you can email me or leave a comment either way =)

If your reading this just know I think your awesome! ;)

Happy Birthday Gorgeous!

2009-10-18T12:56:00.000-07:00

So today is Zac Efrons birthday!!!!! Happy birthday Zac.

He is 22 today and I would have posted 22 pictures but I think this is enough =)

The things I would do to go to his birthday party! (The things I would do to him at his birthday party lol)

Its also been a while since I posted pictures...so here's a lot I know I've posted most of them before but oh well lol he is still hot either way.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZAC!

Im not in high school anymore stop acting like it! oh ya i came out lol

2009-10-17T00:11:00.000-07:00

So todays post was tooootally gonna be focused on how I shaved my legs for the first time since I was on the swim team months and months and months ago. But I actually have some drama to share today lol.

So as you all know I really really really like J. And my best friend K hates her...with a passion. She was the one who introduced me to her in the first place and we all used to be friends until j screwed k over in some way I'm not to clear about anyways. So we were talking today, oh I came out to her today but I will explain that later. So we were just talking about people I like and she was very persistant in knowing and I just knew she was gonna get mad cause she always gets mad when I talk about J. But I told her anyways I mean she already knows I like her but I guess she hates hearing it eventhough she always brings her up. So anyways I told her J is who I liked and she got a little mad and she said she's only a little mad and she would get over it and she was done talking to me. So then I got a little mad because she never likes to talk about her problems and I am the one who does like to talk about my problems. So I kept telling her how I felt and it just got sooo stupid! She actually gave me permission to go for jessica and if something did happen she wouldn't get mad.....whatever that's a lie! But its soo frustrating but I have decided I am gonna go for J I want a special someone and it very well could be J. So I'm gonna do it!

So anyways I came out to K today. she asked me if I was gay and I asked her what made her think that way and she told me its just the way you are. I didn't know where to be offended or what to think. So I asked it that was a bad thing and she said no shed love me no matter what and I just got tired of playing around and I just told her exactly what I told all of you. Exactly the same thing. She didn't seem to mind. It might be a little weird to be around her now that I have told her. But I don't even want to think about seeing her cause I'm sooo frustrated with her! Lol so idk what's gonna happen.

I guess it sucked that right after I told her I liked boys as well we talked about J and she got all pissed off.

But besides you all I haven't came out to anyone so know that I have I'm kinda glad I did.

So anyways I just had to get this stupid high school drama off my chest! Its soo ridiculous! Lol

But I did come out today to one person.

And I shaved my legs...let's talk about that lol

I actually cheated and used veet...I like nair better but had veet so I used it lol. I love how smooth my legs are and think I'm gonna have to keep this up lol I just hate shaving them its such a hassle and annoying lol

hahaha some cool survey

2009-10-16T22:47:00.000-07:00

Ok so these survey things used to be huuuuge on myspace and I would sit there and do survey after survey after survey and then I got tired of it but that was a long time ago and then I saw this survey on Bens Blog and thought it was pretty cool so decided to fill it out =)

By the way thanks!

1. First thing you wash in the shower? My arms idk why it just happens lol

2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Its a bright blue its awesome!

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? YES! And probably will kiss them again this weekend! It was J lol

4. Do you plan outfits every day? I'm a fashion major....of course! Lol

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? UGH like I have to much drama in my life.

6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red? Lol a hot dog on a stick toy hat that I pinned on my wall haha it has some red in it.

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? I was with some friends and A was there and some other hot guy and everyone was naked lol it was a pretty hot dream lol

8. Did you meet anybody new today? Nope

9. What are you craving right now? A big tommy burger!

10. Do you floss? Of Course! I take very good care of my teeth.

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Um.....cabbage....lol

12. Are you emotional? I guess you could say I am sometimes.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? In english and in spanish =)

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Definetly lick it! I don't think I've met someone who bites it lol

15. Do you like your hair? Lol ya its pretty crazy lol I get looks when I'm out in public hahaha

16. Do you like yourself? Of course I love myself.

17. Would you go out to eat with George Bush? I guess maybe I can ask him a bunch of gay questions lol

18. What are you listening to right now? Heidi Montag lol I love heidis music haha

19. Are your parents strict? Ha! No way! Lol one is kinda annoying though haha

20. Would you go sky diving? Yes very soon actually I just gotta take this class or seminar or something lol

21. Do you like cottage cheese? Eww!!!! No!

22. Have you ever met a celebrity? Um...LA is filled with them. I've partied with celebrities.

23. Do you rent movies often? Ya sometimes....depends on if I have the money lol

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? Yep! The shirt I wore for the fashion show I was in!

25. How many countries have you visited? Canada..... that's it.....australia soon hopefully!

26. Have you made a prank phone call? Hehehehe yep! Loooove them!

27. Ever been on a train? Of course! Trains are awesome choo choo! Lol

28. Brown or white eggs? Brown eggs...they seem more organic lol

29. Do you have a cell-phone? Of course that's how I have a social life haha

30. Do you use chap stick? I go through a tube of carmex every 2 weeks.....id say ya lol

31. Do you own a gun? Hahahaha I can think of plenty of ways this question can be dirty =) hahaha

32. Can you use chop sticks? Yes. I like using chopsticks more than forks cause it makes me look smarter lol. And plus I eat a lot of sushi

33. Who are you going to be with tonight? Me, myself, and I......sadly

34. Are you too forgiving? UGH unfortunetly! I don't know how to hold a grudge cause I end up missing the person too much lol

35. Ever been in love? Not in love love I guess...I'm in love with a lot of people but not that way haha

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? School I guess idk we are in a weird place right now.....sounds crazy right?

37. Ever have cream puffs? Cream puffs? Hahaha

38. Last time you cried? Awwww when I watched the color purple the day I was super sick! That movie is something else! I cried like 10 times!

39. What was the last question you asked? What's your problem?!

40. Favorite time of the year? My birthday lol

41. Do you have any tattoos? Not yet ;)

42. Are you sarcastic? Sometimes. I guess.. lol

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? I loove that movie and ashton kutcher is hot! Lol

44.Ever walked into a wall? Hahaha ya those crazy drunken nights hahaha

45. Favorite color? Pink, Green, and leopard print! I know that's not a color but whatevs! I love it!

46. Have you ever slapped someone? Not in the face ;) hehehe

47. Is your hair curly? Nope! Straight as a bored.

48. What was the last CD you bought? The cranberries 20th century masters collection =)

49. Do looks matter? Of course they always do! Lol

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? Knowing me ya probably.

51. Is your phone bill sky high? OMG yes! And I have noo way to pay it!

52. Do you like your life right now? Of course I do I always love my life.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on? Ya but it always goes to that screensaver thing for the dvd player cause I always watch a movie when I'm going to bed.

54. Can you handle the truth? Yes! I hate when people can't tell me something because they think I won't be able to handle it lol

55. Do you have good vision? Perfect vision! The eye doctor even said so!

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? Lol I hate a lot of people and a lot of people hate me but that's old high school drama lol

57. How often do you talk on the phone? Allll the time! Like aaaallll the time!

58. The last person you held hands with? J =) and hopefully this weekend too =)

59. What are you wearing? A short I got at disneyland, and some track pants, I'm getting ready to go for a jog =)

60.What is your favorite animal? My Cute doggy!

61. Where was your default picture taken at? Bathroom.....

62. Can you hula hoop? I looove to hula hoop!!!! I used to be sooo good I could hula hoop around my waist, neck, arm and wrist! 63. Do you have a job? Nope....I'm a bum lol

64. What was the most recent thing you bought? Um....cigarettes lol I know bad habit lol

65. Have you ever crawled through a window? Hahahaha ya!

LOL! A Little Experiment

2009-10-16T00:20:00.000-07:00

Ok so I'm laying in bed and I have the worst headache in the entire world! So I'm texting K and she tells me the funniest thing I have heard in a long time.

Orgasms relieve headache symptoms. So she told me to go masurbate and let her know how it works. The first though that came into my head was how ridiculous that sounds! And I just laughed and laughed soo hard (making my headache worse) and then I thought that its kinda weird to talk to her about that kind of stuff (we don't talk about my sexual anything lol) but anyways I decided to google it and I read some articles and its suppossed to work!

Has anyone else head of this? Suppossedly it releases endorphins and it also redirects the blood flow from your head. I haven't tried it yet. But I will let you guys know! Its 12:25 right now and I'm saving it as a draft, gonna go do my thing and then tell you the result. Just a little experiment id thought id share with everyone =)

Saving as a draft 12:25 am

Ok so it is now 1:20am and I tried my little experiment and I have the results

So my headache is still there a little bit but it almost went away. I know during the process it wasn't there but afterwards it was there a little not as bad as before but still there. And the more time that passes it just keeps coming back so all in all I would say it doesn't work....

I have to admt it was a fun little experiment ;)

Are we addicted?

2009-10-15T20:52:00.000-07:00

So the other day I was thinking how much time I spend on the internet. Whether its on facebook, myspace, twitter, or blogger posting or reading other peoples blogs or even looking at some hot guy take his clothes off. Either way I spend about 75% of my day online, 20% texting, and the other 5% sleeping. I will be online sooo late at night even when I know I have to wake up the next day at a ridiculous early hour. And most of it is blogger and porn. Maybe its because I have no life right now you know being single and not working and stuff but whatever the case may be I know I spend way too much time online.

If you look at my web history its obvious I like to look at porn (I mean who doesn't haha) and that's mostly the entire web history with twitter coming in second. I don't necissarily think its a bad thing. What else is a bored 19 yr old boy gonna do while all alone in his room lol.

Do you think the internet is a complete waste of time? I mean obviously its good for research and stuff but myspace? Facebook? TWITTER? I mean seriously what is twitter really good for? Don't get me wrong I love twitter and I twitter all the time but seriously? What is the big deal. Half those people following me I don't even know! Lol

So I guess the point I'm trying to make is, is the internet just an excuse to not have a social life? I know people are soo bad that they would rather stay home look at porn and j.o than go out with friends! That's soo crazy! I guess we just have the internet there when we are bored....lol who really knows. I love it and I guess that's never gonna change haha

my coming out......fantasy?

2009-10-14T23:39:00.000-07:00

So first of all I want to warn you. I am sooo sick right now so if none of this makes sense I apologize. So on with my post. Lol

So I was laying in bed thinking how if I had a boyfriend he could come over and nurse me back to health lol and I thought if I did have a boyfriend and I told him to come over what would my moms first reaction be? See I know she wouldn't do anything drastic like disown me or anything (it'd probably be one of those situations where she placed bets with someone lol) I know she would be totally cool with it. Whatever. But the thing is I want to make sure I have a reason to come out. I mean I know I'm into guys for sure but what's the point if I don't have anyone to bring home?

So I was thinking about ways to come out and I did think of the perfect way.

I envision it around christmas or thanksgiving time when its all cold outside and I get to wear all the hot winter lines. And I'm living on my own in my cute little apartment. And I'm out shopping looking hot and I see the perfect guy. A Zac or a Jake or even a Ryan(not saying I would take someone with another name but its a fantasy lol) So I meet my Zac, Jake, or Ryan in the store and we just instantly know how much we want to be together and so we go out for coffee, then a dinner, and a few more dates and then its thanksgiving time and things are a little serious. I tell my mom I might bring someone to thanksgiving dinner this year. (Knowing her she wouldn't think anything of it) Then thanksgiving rolls around (I am not a big fan of Thanksgiving so if I had someone with me this year would be awesome) so thanksgiving rolls around and its time to go home with my Zac, Jake, or Ryan. I introduce him to everyone, everyone likes him already. Not introducing him as my boyfriend quite yet (they can figure it out) not being to affectionate, I wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. So we sit next to each other and just talk and eat and just have a good time and then its after dinner and we watch a movie or something and I get cold and snuggle up to him and just act like its the most normal thing in the world. And then its time for bed (assuming we stay the night which probably won't happen) we both go to sleep together and maybe not do anything...or maybe we would get freaky in my old room....sounds hot! Lol anyways just sleep in the same bed and then wake up together (by this time I'm sure my mom has to wonder and be talking lol) and then get up shower (maybe together, maybe not, might be too weird lol) and then say bye to everyone and the leave.

That's how I imagine me coming out to my mom cause it would be that simple my mom wouldn't care if she was absolutly 100% sure he was my boyfriend she would probably say something about being safe lol. (She does that now and I haven't even had sex yet haha)

So that's my coming out fantasy because it has been in my mind. I just want a boyfriend. Being sick has definetly made me realize how much I want someone who would drop everything to come and lay with me and not worry about how sick I was and feed me some soup and make me take my medicine and nurse me back to health.

So where are you Zac, Jake, or Ryan? Come to me already!!! (Oh and again, any name would be perfect I just love those names for guys lol)

So back to my life

2009-10-11T23:13:00.000-07:00

So after I ranted a little bit and vented about this whole mess. I can post about the happenings in my world lol

So me and K sorta had a text fight. I know sounds lame but its true. I made the mistake of talking about J and she got soo mad! See she hates J and I told her I liked J and she wasn't talking to me. I got a little frustrated anyways so there's was a side of me that didn't want her to text me back. But I am not the type of person that runs away from my problems. I like to talk about it and evaluate things...so whatever. We made up by the end of the day but I was still a little mad.

So anyways J was out of town this weekend and she came back today I have to text her tomorrow to ask how her weekend was just to keep her talking to me lol. I've decided I'm just gonna go for her. No matter what K says I am gonna see if me and J can work out.

I'm just keeping my fingers crossed.

The only reason I haven't been talking about a boy lately is because there's sadly no boys in my life to talk about....see A I haven't seen him in like a million years and he's expecting a baby (who's probably not his) and he has a controlling girlfriend. I hope I can see him soon. Just to talk to him and look at him lol. He is sooo fu*king hot! Omg! And he is soo nice i have to admit I think about something that happened with him at least once a day.

So anyways nothings really been happening in my life except for the whole J thing which hopefully works out.

Don't forget to read and comment my post topic of the day.

topic of the day

2009-10-11T22:36:00.000-07:00

So as I have read and been informed today is National Coming Out Day or something like that.

So this actually frustrates me a little bit. I've blogged about it before and I'm gonna blog about it now and probably blog about it again...

This idea that people need to be forced to come out is soo frustrating! I know its not healthy to be "in the closet" your whole life but what's the rush? I don't understand why people are soooo insistant on having everyone come out.

Who does a "closeted" gay person owe? What difference is it gonna make if they tell someone they are gay!

Coming out is a very hard and emotional experience that needs to happen at ones own time not according to someone else.

So its not just the fact its "National Coming Out Day" that I am posting this blog, I was on twitter today (I'm a huge twitter fan) and I will admit I follow chris crocker (you know "leave britney alone") I am a fan of his videos and just him in general but he tweeted something that made me a little mad.... here's his tweet

"Closet cases are just as bad as gay bashers. They hold the gay community back with self-hate. if you're not standing tall, why stand at all?" -Chris Crocker

Who is he to say that? How is someone who's "in the closet" self hating? Self hate? Really?

See I wouldn't consider myself "in the closet". If someone asked me straight out if I liked boys I would say "yes I do is that a problem?" I wouldn't mind but I'm not gonna just announce it to the whole world! For what? What's the point? Its not gonna make any difference if people know or if they don't.

A question you might have is why I don't reveal my identity here on blogger. People I blog about I'm sure would not appreciate mine and their stories. I hope that makes sense....

So let's just say....I will never force anyone to come out...if they don't want the world to know then so be it! Who cares who you sleep with? It shouldn't matter!

So anyways lol I would love to hear everyones thoughts on this. Comment and I will email you and maybe we can discuss it further I would love to hear an opposite point of view.....

I'm not here to bash anyones opinions that's not what I want to do I just am stating my opinion =)

Oh and p.s I replied to chris crocker on twitter let's see if he replies back let's see if he is too chicken hahaha just kidding lol

Im back!

2009-10-10T10:23:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Sorry I've been gone for soo long now its been like a week since I posted. I didn't get home until like Tuesday and then I was in this crazy cleaning mode! Like I cleaned my room from top to bottom I was washing the walls! I'm a huge clean freak if its not clean like I want it I won't do anything else until it is as clean as it should be!

So anyways let's talk about me "weekend" I put it in quotes cause it last from fri. Til Tuesday lol. So anyways as you know I was in a fashion show and that was amazing! I did soo good! I don't want to sound concided but I did do an awesome job! So after the fashion show, we were on our way to the fashion show after party and we get a call and say it was cancelled! we were sooo dissapointed! So we were asking people if there's a party anywhere..I mean its Saturday night there's bound to be a party somewhere so we find out about this one party but we have to bring our own alcohol....damn! Its like 930 pm and here they only sell hard alcohol in liquor stores and they are only open til like 8 or 9 soooo we were like what are we gonna do. So we went to a store and ended up buying beer, sparks and this bottle of cheap watermelon flavor liquer idk it was weird lol. Now I hate beer so I was dissapointed but I wasn't planning to drink that much anyways so I didn't really care.

So we buy or beer and stuff and then someone calls us and tells us to wait at the store cause she's gonna meet us there...oook so we waited for a while and nothing....so we were gonna leave and then we get another phone call from none other than J's sister! Omg! All these thoughts ran through my head like am I gonna see J that night, what's gonna happen?! I started to get excited! The more excited I got you could see it in my face and K noticed and didn't really like that idea too much. (She hates that I like J) So I am waiting and waiting for them to come I'm not even sure if J is in the car but I am hoping! Soo they finally pull up and J is in the car! I got soooo happy! The first thing J did when she got out of the car is come to me and give me a big hug and she licked my face lol. Normally I would be tootally grossed out and like eww get away from me but it was J I didn't mind lol. So we sat there and talked for a few and we decided to go to seperate parties and meet at one party later. So J kinda kidnapped me and just brought me in her car and she kinda cuddled with me in the back seat which was awesome. We even kissed a few times!

So I ended up going to this other party with J and her sister and her cousin, and it was fun....I took two shots of vodka (mmm delicious) and me and J were inseperable! We really were. Where I would go she would go and vice versa! I loved it! We kissed a lot! This guy even pulled out his dick and was showing it off and I didn't even care cause I was soo wrapped up in J I didn't care what was going on around me lol.

So after a while of being bored at that party we went to the party where K was at. And what a mistake that was. The kind of people that were at this party were the scary emo/scary punk kids who got drunk and screamed all the time....seriously they needed to shower.....it was gross! Ewww I just wanted to leave....so me and J and her sister were just outside talking cause we didn't want to be there. Idk where her cousin was...lol so it was fun. And then after a long time they had to leave to go pick up another friend cause we decided we were gonna go back to J's house and hang out. So they left me alone there....but I found someone who was super funny and awesome to hang out with so it was all good.

K was sooo mad at me cause I wasn't spending anytime with her cause I was with J the whole night so she wouldn't even talk to me nothing it was ridiculous and I was going home with her so I was like uggh whatevs lol we didn't make up until on our way home lol.

so we ended up going home and then just falling asleep it was like 4 in the morning lol I really wish I could have seen J again that night but I didn't and I was kinda sad about that but it was ok cause we made out soo much that night. And when they left she wanted me to go with her sooo bad! Like really bad she was begging for me to go but there was absolutly no room after she would go pick up her friends so I didn't....but its ok lol.

So the next night....we were going to have a litttle get together and do peoples hair. We had some people over and it was fun I had a lot of fun! We were all doing hair and coloring it and cutting it and we were trying to find a party to go to after but nothing....until....J's sister called and said to come over! Omg yay! I get to see J two nights in a row! It turned out we didn't go cause we couldn't get in touch with anyone (I found out later they got really drunk and we should have just came over) but oh well I was tired anyways so after everyone left after getting their hair done we just kinda went to bed...but I was ok with that I guess....

And then I went home and just rested from getting no sleep from the other nights lol

So that was my "weekend" sorry it was soo long but I guess a lot of stuff happened! Lol

quick post

2009-10-02T00:50:00.000-07:00

so I gotta make this quick cause im absolutly exxhausted! I'm so tired right now but felt the need to post for some reason...lol

I'm with K for like a weekend and then some...I'm gonna be in a fashion show on Saturday so I am with her to help get the dance moves and stuff ready...its pretty exciting! So that's what's going on...I had to leave my dog at home which sucks cause that's like leaving my own kid! I hate it!

I heard on Saturday night there's a big after party so I'm sooo excited about that! But it is just gonna be a bunch of girls nd a few gay guys..if any lol. But I'm excited! Gonna get wasted lol. I've been feeling a little sick lately...I don't know why! I've been going crazy with the eating thing so that might be it lol.

J texted me a little bit today. I love talking to her. If I ever was to get involved with a girl I would definetly want it to be her =)

OMG the funniest thing happened to me today...me and K were driving and in the car in front of us there was this girl giving head to the guy driver! It was soo funny! I've always wanted to see that cause I didn't think people actually do that! But I guess they do lol I told K to drive up next to them so we can take pictures hahaha jk jk that would be creepy lol but it was still pretty funny lol

Well I think I better go I will catch up on everyones blogs tomorrow I'm really tired right now so I will do my reading tomorrow lol

Goodnight everyone and have an awesome weekend if I don't post anything until then =)

bored.....

2009-09-30T23:05:00.000-07:00

I'm soo bored today....I slept all day pretty much! (I know so lazy and gross) I did find this HOT guy on stickam though. Sticakm is a webcam site for people to just be on webcam so people can chat and actually see them lol. I'm addicted! I have an app on my phone so I get to see peoples webcams, and usually I don't talk cause I don't want to lol but this guy was soo lonely so I started chatting with him! And he is hot! I don't think he knew I was a guy though hehehe (sneaky) lol not on purpose I just don't have a picture and it just says my screenname lol oh well it was hot!
But he had to leave and go jog I told him to come back all sweaty lol. I forgot about him in the hour I had to wait so I didn't go back and check lol. I like to watch the boys strip =) and its not all pornoish its just a few hot guys who joke around and take their clothes off sometimes lol. I'm not a big fan of the webcam sites where the guys are all already naked and stuff. I like to see cute crazy straight guys acting silly and taking their clothes off hahaha. And plus its free all those other ones you have to pay hahaha

So anyways I'm getting ready for my marilyn monroe movie night! Popcorn, marilyn, perfectness!

Also this weekend I'm gonna get drunk!!! Jello shots and jolly ranchers and naughty school girls! (The drink lol) mmmmmm delicious! Vodka vodka vodka! Lol even if they don't say to put vodka in it I put it in it anyways lol.

I gotta meet someone soon! I need to find a guy (or girl I guess) and just put myself out there lol.

Anyways! Hope all is well with everyone else. Love all of you! =)

Oh and btw! I got another follower!!!! Wooo hoo I'm up to 10!!!! Yay!

today....

2009-09-30T00:34:00.000-07:00

Today was alright I guess lol. I found a few more blogs I really like, I haven't got a chance to add them to my blog roll thingy but maybe soon.

I also today decided I wanted to start making some collages of some of my favorite celebrities. I have been saving all these old weekly magazines, you know like us weekly, ok!, life & style, etc...

It was amazing to me how out of like 20 of these magazines I find only around 10 pictures of Zac Efron! I want this huuge collage surrounding a big poster of him! That's what I really want! I used to get magazines like J-14 and all those teen magazines for this purpose! Ok I admit not only for the pictures lol. But back to zac, his new scary movie hopefully comes out soon which means the magazines will be FILLED with pics of him so I'm excited.

So that's what I am working on, a huge poster of zac with little pics all around in a nice strategic way lol.

I guess I can focus all my desire for a boyfriend into the art of collage making...how sad is that? Haha

In other news, my followers jumped up by 3 today!! Woo hoo go me! It went from 6 to 9! How awesome is that! Lol I wish I got more comments though. Don't get me wrong! I looooove loove looove the comments I get now! Very much appreciated!

But yay 3 more followers! I'm movin up! Haha

Also, my life is sooo excting I finished my will and grace dvd collection (yes, I have the whoole series!) Not I'm onto my sex and the city! Another series I have the whole collection of! I love the wisdom of carrie bradshaw! And the fashion! Her outfits and shoes are amazing! And the sex in this show is awesome! Hahaha not as much penis as there should be but whatevs lol.

So I think that's all in my exciting life lol not too exciting.

You know what's funny though. I used to go out every single night! A different club every night of the week! And that was when I wasn't so outspoken and open. Now that I am I moved with my mom and that all went down the drain I never go out! I hate it! I party with friends and get wasted at their house but I miss the club scene I bet I could meet someone if I went out more!

I will make sure of it to go out way more soon. I miss it lol I want to meet someone. Its what I think about most. Which is very sad. Lol I'm hoping ill be shopping and someone will just come to me lol. One can dream right? Lol

i have decided...

2009-09-26T22:52:00.000-07:00

So I'm just gonna come out and say it.....I want a boyfriend! Its true, I'm usually the selfish one who wants to spend all my time and money on myself but for some reason I want a boyfriend. You know that special someone you can talk on the phone with for hours and hours and not get bored with them, who you end up falling asleep on the phone with them after hours and hours of talking. I want that. Someone to go to the park with and hold hands, go to lunch and sit soo close to each other it feels like you are trying to go into their body.

I wanna feel that feeling where when you are with that person its like you are the only two people in the world! Is this impossible?

See for me its weird to talk about it cause I've never really dated anyone before. I had one girlfriend in the 9th grade and she was sooo needy and clingy, she was ugly, and noone liked her. I honestly can say I was embarassed to be with her in public. So when I broke up with her she turned out to be a crazy stalker. It was stupid. But other than that I haven't been interested in dating or being with someone.

Except one person it was a girl we can call N (sorry for the letters I'm not creative enough to make names I like for people so I use the first letter of their name lol) so anyways I loved her. She was like my best friend I thought about her all the time, we went out and did a lot of stuff together, I took her places, and talk about different stuff, her boyfriends, and other gossip. I always said I supported her except for the few bad apples, but secretly I wanted her to realize I was the one for her. She was perfect. I still talk to her to this day and when she texts me I get sooooo excited! I do still have a thing for her of course I actually loved her (and I can't say that about anybody)

But other than that noone has caught my eye to be someone I want to be in a relationship with. (Except A but that's never gonna happen lol) but now I have decided I do want a boyfriend, or a girlfriend I mean id rather have a boy but if the right girl comes along I could deal lol.

And its not even about sex like some people might think its not all about sex.

So ya I just gotta say that now this post has turned into a mini novel lol, just another chapter in my book haha

Well let me know what you guys think =)

penis in my face

2009-09-23T12:46:00.000-07:00

That whole Monday night was awesome as you know with J and stuff. Well the next morning I got dry himped by this guy who is K's roommate sorta. Lol he woke us up by humping us. Let me tell you really cute! Ever since I met him I had a thing for himand that whole time on Monday and Tuesday I did get to know him and he's even hotter than I thought doget a little bi vibe from him....I mean he humped me the other morning. And it seemed like everytime I was in the room he got a boner (he would tell everyone and show it off lol) and the morning he humped us he got naked started jumping on the bed and the hit his head and fell on top of me I could feel his penis on my hand! It was pretty hot. He's also very big! Like he's a good size! And when he was with this other girl I know he didn't put out for her so I'm thinking xthere's a little bi vibe going on here. Lol or maybe its just a little wishful thinking lol.

So that was my crazy weekend lol it was pretty fun don't you think? What did everyone else do?

I kissed a girl and i liked it!!

2009-09-23T11:02:00.000-07:00

On Monday I spent the day with K. We went to see Sorority Row! Looooove that movie! And my wife Audrina Patridge is in it. And as you know Audrina is on my wifeys list lol. She was in like 10 minutes of the whole movie which sucked but it was a good movie everyone should go see it! Anyways enough about audrina lol. That night it seemed like everyones was at K house so it was really fun we got two bottles of vodka and just took drank lol. I had 6 shots and 3 vodka with sprite lol I was pretty wasted that night lol. But before all that we went to go get J. =D K and J aren't really talking I mean K isn't talking to J lol .....drama. but anyways we went to go get J I was soooo excited cause I wanted to see her sooo bad! And she was getting a tattoo so I got to hold her hand the whole time it was a good experience for me I was there for her and she wanted me there so it was awesome for me lol.

So after her tattoo me and her had a few shots of vodka and we were just kinda ignoring everyone else talking amongst ourselves which I didn't mind lol. And then it turned out she had to go home early =(. But I got to go with them to take her and someone else home. She sat in the back seat with me and we held hands the whoole way! And then we were at her house and she gave me her number again so I can text her and she leaned in to hug me and say bye and then I turned to look at her, and it was that look, that I'm gonna kiss you look, and she leaned in a kissed me! Omg fireworks! I loved it. And then she said bye and got in the front seat and watched her go inside and went back to K's house and I was hanging out and whatever and my phone goes off. I have a text, its from J! We ended up texting the whooooole night! It was awesome! It totally made my day lol eventhough it was just a kiss, I'm totally fine with that lol.

Still got a lot of weekend left lol

im coming out so you better get this party started!

2009-09-23T10:50:00.000-07:00

So Friday and Saturday were all about a party I planned all by myself! Well with a little help lol. See that's kind of want to do is plan events for like fashion shows and stuff but I also want to star in them lol. (Which is happening soon but that's later) so anyways I planned this party to be held on Saturday and aaaalllll day Friday I was shopping for supplies and doing stuff to prepare for the party! Which was awesome I love making decisions and picking out food and drinks!

Then on Saturday was the huge party. I woke up at like 7 that morning I went over to the party place and started setting up for the party at 1 it was exciting and it sucked cause our first guest showed up early! But it worked out fine and the party was a success! Once all the guests were a situated and worked out fine where I could finally relax it was time for vodka on the rocks! A lot of people think I'm weird for just drinking straight vodka but I loove the taste! I really do! So anyways I had like 3 of those and it takes a lot for me to get even a little tipsy so I kinda stopped there cause I didn't wnt to get drunk that night cause it was my party I was planning and I didn't want to mess up anything but it was ok lol.

On Sunday was a little bit of a break day. I went to chuck e cheese! I loooooove chuck e cheese! I don't care what anyone says chuck e cheese is delicious and suuuper fun! So I did that came home deep cleaned my bathrom and room. And drank some wine lol.

So that's half of my weekend let's go on to the other parts lol

Craaaaazy weekend!

2009-09-23T10:45:00.000-07:00

I haven't had time to post cause I had I think one of the craziest weekends in a while. Sooo many different things happened lol I think I got drunk Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday night!!! That's a lot I say that and now I feel gross lol but it was fun! And the thing is I can't really say everything that happened in one post cause it would be sooo long. So I will break it up into a few different ones lol but it was pretty exciting! For me anyways lol.

sing to me....

2009-09-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

I was watching an old episode of glee that new show on fox. And that guy on there is soo hot! Another guy who I don't know his name or anything but not only is he hot, he can sing! Omg I would looove for someone to sing to me. That has got to be the hottest thing in the whole world! I think that's a reason I liked J so much is because she sang to me. But when someone sings to you its soo hot! Unless they are bad but this guy from glee sings really good! Like really really good. Its like woah! I loove it! So any guy that can sing. I will just melt and will do anything for you.

Damn! Its sooo hot! I have to say this because I ...just do lol zac efron can sing hahaa. I was watching hairspray last night and when zac sings ladies choice! O M F G! It is sooooo hot! I love a guy that can sing! I love it I love it I love it!

Who agrees with me? Lol

Mmmm zac efrons new calendar 2010!

2009-09-15T16:28:00.000-07:00

When is this coming to my house! Damn! These hot pics would be proudly hung on my wall! Mmmmm only 9 pics though.....12 months in a year but only 9 pics released today....hmmmm lol oh well I want it I want it!!!!!!!!

ITS BACK!!!!!

2009-09-15T12:53:00.000-07:00

WOOO HOO! So last night I was about to post a blog about my favorite blog blocked by blogger and then coincedently my phone froze and couldn't post it. So then I gave up cause I just got frustrated and then I stumbled on his blogger profile and found out he had a new blog! Woo hoo! Adamscandids got pretty much shut down by who I believe is an anti gay employer at blogger shutting down all the gay blogs. But he is back! Adamscandids2 is launched! I was sooo happy and it just tootally made me day!

Soo everyone go check it out its a new look and everything all his old archives from the other one are on there as well so that's awesome as well. So let's hope blogger doesn't shut this one down too!

So check it out adamscandids2.blogspot.com and say congrats! He's awesome and his blog is amazing! Woooo hooo!

My celebrity husbands!

2009-09-12T15:31:00.000-07:00

This was suppossed to be posted after my celebrity wifeys but it took forever trying to decide what guys I wanted to include. There's a lot of mother f'ing hot guys out there but there's only a few that are my absolute favorite!

Zac efron- Obviously, as if I need another post about zac but I just can't help myself he's soooo fucking delicious! (I'm not the one to swear but it could be used for effect!) This boy is absolutly the perfect person. (Next to jennifer aniston but whatever lol) he has the body, the face mmm the face, and the hair the everything. It just seems one thing I don't know is his you know what! But from the bulge pictures I have seen he seems perfect in that area too lol. He even has the perfect butt! But let's not talk about zac anymore I could write a book about how perfect he is.

Channing Tatum- He's gained a little weight recently and he isn't exactly as hot as he was before but mmmm id still hit it for sure. He was soooo hot in his model/step up days lol

Justin Timberlake- who hasn't fantasized about justin! Seriously in nsync he was always my favorite and he is still always been one of the hottest guys ever!

Now there a lot and I mean a lot of guys I didn't mention who make my pants just a little tighter but if I listed all of them it would be soo long lol

P.s. there are two pictures of channing because I wanted to show his hot body but that other picture is just soooo hot! I had to include it lol

My celebrity wifeys!

2009-09-10T22:56:00.000-07:00

Because I'm using my email its not quite set up the way I want but you get the idea.

So I have this crazy obsession with celebrity so I am obssesed with certain ones. Lol so here's my celebrity wifeys

Gwen stefani- I've always been obsessed with gwen stefani ever since she was in No Doubt!

Next, Audrina Patridge- I said before I'm a huuuuge hills fan! Audrina is definetly my favorite she's absolutly beatiful! Omg I loove her soo much! And her movie comes out tomorrow so that's exciting!!!!

Sophia Bush- omg definetly one of the best actresses in the whole business! She doesn't get too many huuge movie roles but she should. She's on another one of my favorite shows One Tree Hill! And she's sooo naturally pretty even without her makeup she's beautiful. I love sophia I wanna see her in more movies damnit!!!!!!!

Paris Hilton! Omg paris, paris, paris. Blonde, tall, and gorgeous! A lot of people don't like Paris but if you look at her she has accomplished so much by doing almost nothing. She is famous for being famous, She is in movies!, she has her own record, she's a model, she has her own hair extension line, she's an author, and she has her own tv show! Now if that's not superstardom I don't know what is!

Now this list used to be soo big! But I reduced it because it was a little ridiculous! Lol but these are my wifeys lol

Straight boys, gay experiences

2009-09-10T17:56:00.000-07:00

So there's sooo many videos, stories, and pictures out there of "straight" guys in gay situations.
These internet sites that have this stuff on it are not the only places I've heard these stories. Regular people actually have these gay experiences with their straight friends! I gotta say I'm a little jealous.

See nothing like that has ever happened to me! There's always been hot guys I've always wanted to do something like that with but it just never happened. So what I was trying to get at is. Is this something that happens or is it just a fantasy? And see now that I am older and more open about who I am it probably will never happen. But let's look on the bright side now I will have my own gay experiences that might actually mean something.

So have any of you guys had a straight/gay experience?

So I have a secret....sorta lol

2009-09-09T01:43:00.000-07:00

Everyone seems to hate heidi and talk a lot of smack about her which she did deserve it a while ago but I think she really has brought herself up!

And she's absolutly gorgeous! Omg ya she's had work done but honestly if I looked like she did before (see the pic of her and lauren) I would get work done also! Lol

See I am a huuuuge hills fan! And audrina is my favorite but heidi is my second I absolutly love her! I waited for a store to open to buy her playboy (which was very dissapointing because all she showed was her butt but oh well she looked good!

Also her music! Omg here's gonna cause a little stir her music is actually really really good! Now I'm not just saying that because I love her it is actually really good! Give it a listen! For me you won't be dissapointed.

Love you heidi!

tore up from the floor up!

2009-09-08T18:32:00.000-07:00

So it was labor day weekend and it came and gone and I partied! I went over to K's house and we drank like a whoooole bottle of grey goose between the two of us! It was delicious! See vodka is the best thing in the whooole world! Its delicious, I don't have a hangover the next day, and I don't get sick! Mmmm yummy! Lol

So we got to talking about things (like most drunks do! Hahaha) and we started talking about J how she's not friends with her anymore and blah blah and suppossedly what she told me J did is mean, buut its soo hard to get over something like that because its not normal for me to just like someone automatically like that. (Unless they are supper fine!) And not usually with a girl. So anyways ya that's what happened with that. Lol

But omg I got sooooo drunk. I was tore up from the floor up!!! Seriously falling over myself! And laughing at something so sttupid like the word the. Hahha seriously when I get drunk I laugh at everything! Lol. The only thing about vodka is it makes you suuuuuper horny! Omg really it does! Lol

Yes I am a virgin but is J was there and she wanted it right then and there we would have done it no questions asked! Lol

Or A hehehe I would have enjoyed A more but that's never gonna happen lol. Not anytime soon anyways lol

So what did you guys do for labor day weekend? Any fun parties?

why blogger why!!!!!

2009-09-08T18:17:00.000-07:00

Omg so last night I log on to catch up all my blogs after the labor day weekend of partying!!!!!! And I go to one of my favoritist blogs out there! And omg it says permission denied!!!!! Omfg! It said its under review!

We probably all know what blog I'm talking about...adamscandids. Omg if blogger takes that blog away I will be soo mad and sad.

It seems to me blogger is being run by an anti gay group or something so they are slowly getting rid of the gay blogs.There are countless blogs that have been being deleted and just going away. Its soooo sad! And being new to the blogging community it makes me a little scared to think that blogs are being deleted like that!

I used to go to adamscandids even before I was an author of a blog. I came across it one day....I forgot what I was looking for or what but I went to it and was hooked! Absoultly hooked! I would check it every day and the days he didn't post (which wasn't very often) I would go through the hundreds of archives! And it was amazing! And now thinking there's a chance it could be gone forever is scary! I hope he will be able to fix it. I don't understand what their problem is!

I know there's other blogs out there but that was one of my first blogs I really really enjoyed where I would check it every day and it was just turned into a routine but I have faith in that it will not go away! I am really hoping and just crossing my fingers that it will stay and not be deleted!

Let's alll hope!

what i need to do

2009-09-04T16:36:00.000-07:00

So I was thinking and I realized I need to dedicate more of my time to my blog. I kinda just put it on the back burner some nights which really isn't something I should do lol. See what usually ends up happening is I read other blogs and update myself on the ones that still update and whatever and then I end up falling asleep lol.

Also a lot of time has gone to stickam mobile. See this awesome app on my phone allows me to see peoples webcams and its really awesome. Now its not the best webcam site but its not bad. And since I can use it on my phone its perfect!

Like last night this...kinda hot guy who was half naked is sitting there and everyone was wanting him to get naked so he gets up and pulls his shorts down and shows his little briefs hahaha. Well I wouldn't say little but they were briefs hahaha so I've become addicted to that....again. lol

I wonder if there's another webcam site I can see on my phone? I will have to look into it! Lol

Wooo Zac! Gorgeous!

2009-09-04T11:57:00.000-07:00

All this pictures I saved on my phone =) I always gotta have some pics of him =)

This is not even all of them =) lol

Yay!!!!!! again lol

2009-09-04T11:49:00.000-07:00

Sooooo it worked! Yay! That is my favvoooorite picture of zac efrons face I've seen in a while!

Well I gotta get on posting more pictures!!!! Yay!!!! Lol

Get ready to see an even more awesome blog! Lol

Test picture post! Woo!

2009-09-04T11:47:00.001-07:00

Mmmmm delicious if you can see it mmmm delicious!!!! Lol this is one of my favorite pictures of him for sure!

Yay..so anyways

2009-09-04T11:36:00.000-07:00

Yay!!!! It worked! I will soon be putting in pictures. Hot ones I find and pictures of hot guys lol its gonna be amazing!!!!

Soo anyways....I haven't been posting because this whole week I have been sooo busy! I kinda started a once a week job so that's what happened yesterday. But I've been busy all this week! Waking up early going to sleep at like 10! Omg lol but its the weekend so I won't be sooo busy. I got to give highlights to someone. And then Sunday I'm going to party with K I wish J would be there but it will just be me and K I think but that's ok we might go to a club so I'm excited! Lol I got some grey goose so that's gonna be fun! Lol

Well I have to do some very important pic posting lol hope you enjoy!

Test post!

2009-09-04T11:31:00.001-07:00

Ok so I am trying to set up email posting and I got my email address so let's see if this works. See I wanted to set up email posting so I can post pictures because I can't post pictures the regular easy way because I'm on my phone lol but now that I have this I can! Woo hoo! Lol

I know I haven't posted in a few days but ill explain that in another post lol well let's see what happens! Woo lol

its a little sore....

2009-08-31T21:59:00.000-07:00

Ok so I want to start by explaining my night last night. There's this wooonderful think called webcams! Lol and this awesome site stickam.com quite often has hot guys almost naked on cam. I know there are a lot better webcam sites but the thought that it is a little against the rules and its just a bunch of young straight guys. Lol well anyways I get the oppurtunity to have an app on my phone for stickam mobile! Its awesome! I was up until 4 in the morning browsing the hot guys and occassionally a really hot guy would come along and it is soo hot to be able to jack off to a hot guy live and not have him know! So I finally found this really hot guy! He was talking to this girl about something sexy idk what she was saying but he liked it! He had like no clothes on and it kept saying things like he was gonna flash his penis but it didn't happen but the whole time I was jacking off and it went on for a while and now its a little sore....=( lol but that didn't stop me earlier today =) hehehe

Well I better go see if there's any hot webcam boys tonight =)

well that was a disaster lol

2009-08-31T18:31:00.000-07:00

So I tried that stupid mobile blogging thing and it didn't really work obivously well no it worked just not the way I wanted it to lol but I will set up email blogging and then be able to add the pictures from my phone! That's exciting! Lol I can't wait lol well stay tuned for my post later about way more important stuff lol

2009-08-31T18:29:00.007-07:00

l feel soooo accomplished! Hahahaha

2009-08-31T18:29:00.005-07:00

See I got a lot! A lot! Of problems with my battery so this is awesome! Lol sooo let's see what this can do and hopefully it works! Lol (if it does I wil

2009-08-31T18:29:00.003-07:00

So this is just a quick test post! I am hopefully posting this from my phone and that's awesome cause I can text my posts and that will save my battery!

2009-08-31T18:29:00.001-07:00

So this is just a quick test post! I am hopefully posting this from my phone and that's awesome cause I can text my posts and that will save my battery!

its about time! im

2009-08-30T17:39:00.000-07:00

Well I'm finaaally home! Omg that was the longest motha f'in weekend of my life!

Let me explain this to you

No cell phone service, no electricity!, no plumbing! Really no plumbing there's an outhouse in the back and you go there to do your business! Omfg eww! In the middle of nowhere! And the thing is its not like we were camping we were staying in a house that was made by a relative! I haven't showered since Friday before we left! Omg eww! I'm just soooo glad to finally be home and in my bed! In my bathroom! My tv! My kitty! My dog went with me so I had her to complain too lol. Omg and the worst thing happened to me! My deodorant broke! And now I'm out until I can go to the store tomorrow! But luckily I have a backup hidden somewhere I have to remember where its at though lol

There was one good thing that came out of this weekend from hell. Well actually two I realized I should write a scary story or book or something cause the things that pop into my head when I'm scared are amazing! So I'm gonna write I book of one story or a bunch of little stories! Idk we will see lol

The second is the person we went to visit grows a lot of stuff (she has all that room why not? Haha) and she grows tobacco! Sooo I brought some tobacco leaves home and I'm gonna dry them and spray flavor on them everyday and make hookah! Sorta anyways lol its a little experiment I could try lol but its real tobacco I've been smoking it all weekend and its good lol.

And I had a small chance to see A but we eneded up not stopping =( I was thinking about him a lot though hoping id see him on the street or something lol. Wishful thinking I guess lol

Well I gotta take a shower before I get anymore nasty and then read and catch up on aaaall the blogs read! I got a lot of reading to do so keep an eye out for comments! Lol

Ill probably post again later...well see lol

Feeling better

2009-08-28T19:27:00.000-07:00

So I am feeling better! Yay! Let the job search begin again lol.

My family decided it would be a good idea to take a road trip to see my step aunt who I do like her but the problem is she lives out in the middle of nowhere! I am a toootal city boy and being out in the middle of nowhere is not my style. Its tootally living like paris hilton did in the simple life. Lol its only for the weekend but I am worried I won't have any service! Omg I will die! No blogging! No texting! NO TWITTER! Omg I will die without twitter!!! People will think I dropped off the face of the earth! Omg and people might think its a nice relaxing vacation....um....no! I need people talking to me all the time! I'm very social! Omg what will I do! My mom says ill have service but I don't know.....I got a book to read so I guess that will be fine maybe....lol

But something good about my step aunts house is her son is hot! At least last time I saw him he looked hot lol

We will see I guess wish me luck! Lol

2009-08-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

So in my sick days I get to catch up on my blog reading and finding more to read and unfortunetly some I've discovered and liked are no longer updating...really sad. But there are 1 or 2 I have discovered and they are awesome. Congratulations to all the really awesome bloggers and not just the new ones all the ones I read before =) you'd think I would have more time to blog but I haven't thought of anything to post about lol

Being sick is kinda depressing I dont think my room has been more messy! Omg I'm a huuge neat freak and my room is allllways clean. Always! I have my clothes on the floor my shoes are everywhere my bed hasn't been made in like 3 days. But once I feel better enough to start cleaning omg I'm gonna be cleaning like crazy!

But anyways I wanted to just say congrats to all the awesome bloggers and I hope to be up there with you all soon =)

its that season again....

2009-08-27T16:23:00.000-07:00

So every year around this time I just am stuck in bed all day.... stupid allergies! Omg I can't breathe, can't see, can't move, I hate the way I feel so I just sleep in bed...allll day! Lol so I haven't blogged or anything I barely get out of bed to change the disc of sex and the city lol. but I am feeling better and I am ambitious on to making my blog even better! Even though I am only using my phone to post I need to figure out how to put pictures! Lol I don't know exactly how I'm gonna do it but it will be done! Lol I will be able to use my phone in every way to make this blog awesome! Lol

I kinda realized......

2009-08-24T13:44:00.000-07:00

So i was thinking last night about J and was wondering....what if she hadnt moved out and she liked me and we dated and blah blah. what if it went to the next step of getting freaky...... then i realized im not really sexually attracted to girls. Like i just want the thought to be there of having someone there whos a girl but i know i like guys obviously lol.

Like with A omg i wanted to go in and jump his bones everytime i saw him!!! but with J its like someone to hold hands with and occasionally kiss and just be together but not the same.

i kinda wanted to specify for everyone in case anyone was confused. (i might be a little confused) lol

well maybe its not im confused its just hard to explain lol idk this post is just kinda of random thoughts i should have put together before i wrote it but ooooh well! lol

Fun party but then sad....

2009-08-24T13:39:00.000-07:00

Sooo like i told you guys in a post before i was heading over to a birthday party for K. Now i said that i was soo excited to see J and was soo happy texting my peeps throught the whole day saying how excited i was sooo i made it to K's house and no J. I didnt want to ask where she was because K would have gotten mad and i didnt want to ruin her bday so i just stood quiet and was like ok well thats fine ill see her tomorrow (which is today) but we ended up staying at K's moms house.

But it went bad from there. K told me J had moved out of her apartment =(! omg what am i gonna do now ill probably never see her again! i mean i know where she works and i could stop by and say hi but eww stalkerish right? idk...

But i am actually posting from K's computer lol shes napping (we partyied hard last night lol) so i get her computer to myself lol

but im just sad that theres not gonna be J anymore.....

Changes Changes Changes

2009-08-22T22:06:00.000-07:00

So I took some good advice and added my favorite blogs to my blog. I added alll my blogs I follow because I read all those blogs and I enjoy all of them! And get this very impressive detail I did it all on my phone! Holla! That's why its all the way at the top lol but I will fix that soon. But I do want to say that those blogs I read are very good and I love all them sadly a few haven't been updated in about a week....but hopefully they will come back!

And google is deleting blogs like crazy!!! Omg! Like 3 blogs I liked dissapeared! What the hell!

But I did add to my blog and realized I could do some awesome things and soon when I figure out everything my blog will be awesome! But I guess everyone will just have to be with my words lol (scary thought lol)

I want to thank my 4 followers! I'm really moving up! Lol but seriously I'm very very very grateful to you and if there are people who haven't officially followed my blog but read it I am grateful to them too!

I want to say to my 4 (possible more) followers thank you and I appreciate everything =) and you won't be dissapointed just stick around =)

Birthday fun? or birthday disaster?

2009-08-22T21:29:00.000-07:00

So I didn't mention this before but yesterday was K's birthday and unfortunetly she had to work. Ssoooo tomorrow we are celebrating it at this nice little club where people dress really nice and its really upscale...I'm really excited! I am also excited because there's a chance J comes with us! I haven't seen J in more than a month! I have to say I miss her considering the last time I saw her it was a bad day for everybody (but that's another story lol) but now I have the chance to make it awesome and I'm hoping she will notice.

Now you may not remember or haven't gone back far enough but K is my best friend and J is her roomate and K absolutly hates the fact I like J. She gets extremly jealous and it was soo bad we didn't talk for about a week because of it! And ever since then we talked about it iits been awkward...

So I'm trying to plan a little thing for K for her birthday but I want J. I want J real bad! And it seems a little weird for me that K isn't supportive of me and J being together (getting a little ahead of myself but... lol) see in my experience friends are always trying to hook you up with their friends and what better person than her roomate! Right? I guess K doesn't see it that way...

But the truth is I want J really bad she seems perfect the first night we met she sang the fugees "killing me softly". And I was seriously soo close to kissing her. See the first time I heard that song I told my self and cousin "whoever sings this song for me will be my love" and what a coincidence I like this girl and we hang out and she sings killing me softly......

The thing is its all for K's Birthday and that would be soo disrespectful right? But shouldn't she be happy for me she's my best friend and she has said I'm her best friend so...I guess we will just have to see tomorrow night =)

Blog world

2009-08-21T15:43:00.000-07:00

Today seems like a really slow day in the blog world. I've noticed some of the hot blogs with the hot pics are fading away slowly.....and some interesting ones about peoples lives are kinda going away too....as a new blogger it will be hard to compete with some blogs but I am determined! =)

boy why am i so obsessed with you

2009-08-21T15:34:00.000-07:00

Lately all I've been able to think about is that hot ass motha fucker zac efron!

I spent most of the day just patroling the gossip sites reading all the articles (looking at the hot pictures) of zac. Maybe I'm hoping I missed the day he took a picture of his dick and it got released. No such luck...yet! But supossedly he is rumored to be doing a movie where he has a homoerotic scene in a bathroom! A movie about sex, drugs and zac with another guy! I would be the first one in line to see that movie.

I saved like 15 pics of him to my phone just because he's soo fine! I wonder if there's a way to post pics from my phone into a post.....I'm gonna check that out and share all my hot pics of zac efron on here!

All day I'm hoping to hear something about zac. He is my biggest celebrity hottie! Tootally in love. (Who isn't though right lol I'm hoping these x rated vanessa hudgens pictures will inspire zac to release some or damn why have the hackers got his phone yet!

I mean it could happen look at pete wentz fall out boy hottie and I just googled him randomly one day and BAM his dick popped up lol come on zac we would love to see what you got!

wet dreams? not me!

2009-08-20T17:52:00.000-07:00

Here's a topic I've always wanted to discuss....I remember in 5th grade watching those cheesy educational videos on sex and the male body during puberty and all that stuff and they kept saying to not be scared if you wake up with a wet spot on your sheets.....ummm first of all ewww.

I've never woke up with a cum stain on my sheets. I've had dreams where I was about to sex this hot guy up but it never went far enough before I woke up....

Maybe its because I jack off too much....I've heard that. Not about me but like in movies and articles and stuff. But I have never had the chance to wake up with a wet spot lol. I heard you have to go days without masturbating.....umm....you know how hard that is! I'm 19 and I satisfy myself at least twice a day....at least! Its a huuge part of my daily routine without it ill be moody and it won't be pretty lol

I've always wondered what it would be like to wake up with a cum stain on my bed I mean I would be tootally grossed out and have to wash my sheets immediatly but what caused me to cum in my sleep is what I want to experience =)

2009-08-20T13:09:00.000-07:00

Its been a few posts since I've talked about something that I think is so hot! And I was thinking and thinking. Don't get me wrong there are a lot of things that will get me excited but trying to remember all of them at a drop of a hat is almost impossible. But I think I actually found something. Its totally stupid but I gotta say, there are a lot of hot guys out there. There's a lot of pretty girls too but there's a lot of hot guys! Lol

I always look at famous people and think omg if I had one night with them!

My number one is of course as a previous post points out is zac efron....mmmmm I will watch high school musical 1, 2, and 3 just to watch him in action! All sweaty and playing basketball dancing around singing some cheesy song while his muscles just get all crazy! And I've read online a few places he has been approached to be in a new version of equus and to refresh some memory daniel radcliffe showed his goods and if zac efron agreed to this remake of equus and showed his stuff I know I would definetly spend all my money for a ticket to go to that play! While smuggling a video camera in since they are illegal just so I can get those delicious goods on tape!

Who would be number 2.....I guess eric balfour. He's not a huge actor but been in a few movies but as I recall in lie with me when he was dancing around naked mmm I fell in love! But he shows his stuff so its not as exciting

Justin timberlake needs to show some skin! I used to have a big poster of justin in my room he was shirtless wearing white pants and omg he looks delicious! He needs to come out in a movie where he has a nude scene.

Star trek star chris pine is absolutly delicious! I don't remember him in anything else but omg in star trek when he was making out with this blue girl in his underwear his bulge was absolutly huuge! I fell in love the whole movie I was just staring at him and was tootally oblivious on what was going on in the story line lol

Now when I was a younger kid aaron carter was the best thing ever! And I was tootally in love! And then he absolutly dissapeared. Theeen a little show called house of carters omg aaron was soo hot on that show especially a little scene where he just got out of the shower and he was wearing these joe boxer boxers with a huuge smiley face on them and he was arguing with nick and you could tootally see aarons dick flopping around in there! Omg!

Now there's a lot more which will be discussed in future posts but this blog is loong enough! Lol

deleted....

2009-08-20T13:04:00.000-07:00

The other day my phone was acting absolutly ridiculous! It just wasn't working the way I wanted it to so I did a reset to wip out all the useless stuff on my phone. It works awesome again and everything works and that's awesome but then like yesterday I realized oh shit! I deleted that picture of my friends bfs dick! Maaan! It wasn't the hottest picture but it could have been used for blackmail or something! Darn it! I was soo dissapointed! Lol I was even gonna post it on here! But nooo I had to delete it! Lol

2009-08-19T15:20:00.001-07:00

ok guys so where is my life now. I left my friends house so no more A =( buuut that means more J =). I had lunch with K yesterday and it was kinda awkward....she knows like J and she does not like that idea.... its wierd cause i would think she would be happy because i mean two of her friends getting together would be good right? idk i dont understand her sometimes

I miss A though i didnt even really get to see him while i was at my friends house but i still miss him =)

I am discovering some really cool blogs! theres so many i have discovered i like!
most of them dirt ones but who cares i love it anyways.

theres a lot of people that have a lot to say i love that.

New Layout

2009-08-19T15:00:00.000-07:00

yay!!! i finally did it!! added a color and some changes to my blog that will be awesome! im soo happy. Now i need to upload a picture and it will be all good!!! yay! On the way to being a awesome blog!

Been so long

2009-08-19T14:50:00.001-07:00

Hello Guys, I have been gone for a while not posting. Ive been sooo busy and tired and just plain lazy lately..... but i hopefully will get back on the wagon and continue to write my blog becaue i do enjoy doing it for reals and it really helps with all the drama in my head hahaha

efron licious!

2009-08-08T17:22:00.000-07:00

Omg I wanted to dedicate a post to zac efron. He's mother f'ing soooo hot! Ofmg!!!!!! I absolutly love him! Watching high school musical and I just want to freaking jump in the TV and freaking rip off all his clothes! There is something soooo hoit about him! Omg I just get chills looking at him and when he sings! Omfg

Vanessa hudgens is the luckiest girl in the world! I would give up everything for one night with him! I'm serious! And all tese dirty pictures of vanessa hudgens (I feel soo bad for her but...) where the hell is the ones of zac efron! I mean seriously! I wanna see him naked soo bad! He looks sooo kissable! Well I had to get it out he's mother fu*king hot and I absolutly love him!

Penis

2009-08-06T14:56:00.000-07:00

Didn't post last night cause I got too tired so decided to post this afternoon lol.

I am still at my friends house (where A lives) and I was talking to my friend about some stuff and she was telling me some things about her brother (the one I think has a big dick!) And saying she thinks he's gay! Now this kid gets on my nerves like crazy soooo annoying! I have also gotten the feeling he's curious about boys too but the thing is my friend was saying how her boyfriend walked in one day shirtless and her brother got a boner! Mmm hot. Now I hate my friends boyfriend and think he's disgusting as hell but I gguess her brother didn't seem to think so lol.

I've also seen him try and get close to me and he's always touching me (unfortunetly not inappropriatly lol) and he always walks around with his dick bulging (not boner its just big) and he has glanced at my package once or twice. He also trys to see my changing like one day I was getting dressed in my friends room and he comes and opens the door after I said I'm changing! But I was already done changing and I wouldn't care if he saw me naked I would make him let me see him naked lol.

Now enough about him. I wanna talk more about my friends boyfriend now this guy is disgusting, nasty, dirty, gross! Buuut I've always been curious about what he's packing. Soo one night we are all sitting around watching tv and my friend texts her bf and wants a picture of his face for her phone and he send her a picture of his dick! So I was sooo wanting to see this picture right and so after a while I asked if I could use her phone to take a picture. (My phones retarded right now and won't take a picture soo...) and she let me so I fwd it to myself and its not that impressive.

I'm gonna try and see if I can post it on here since its on my phone....lol

Still haven't seen A since yesterday morning.... he's having a rough time right now with everyone doubting him but he will pull through he's strong. Lol

its plain torture! =)

2009-08-05T01:35:00.000-07:00

I got to spend a lot of time with A today not really spending time with him but he was home tonight. He has a nice ass! Like seriously idk what he was doing but he was on his stomach and he had a nice ass!

I also noticed he shaves his legs! That's sooo hot! He actually shaves his legs! I always noticed he was kinda itching them and I didn't think anything of it (cause when you shave your legs they itch if you don't do it right) and I noticed today how smooth his legs were mmmm love it!

We had a little moment today..I caught him staring at me...idk what to think I just stared back but me being they wierdo that I am I turned away first I could have stayed looking at him but I didn't for some reason lol he's sooo cute.

You may have noticed a lot of my posts are about A but that's because I'm staying at his house with my friend and I get to see him sometimes lol.

The thing is I feel like its torture because he's straight, in a relationship, and is expecting! And I'm still all head over heels for him when I know nothing will ever happen! Idk I feel like I'm torturing myself lol but he's soo hot soo maybe its worth it lol

Top 5 Places to Have fun with yourself

2009-08-04T14:59:00.001-07:00

1. The Shower- So not original but when your in the shower and the water is just pouring down on you and your standing and depending on how intense your doin it once you blow your load you feel all weak and you just wanna drop and the waters still pouring omg best feeling in the world!

2. The guy you likes bed- You know when you hve the chance to be in the guy you likes room and can sleep in his bed you get all hot and bothered and want to jack off where he jacks off (so hot). For example when I sleep in A's bed I definetly do it in there I don't make a mess there's never any evidence but just the thought is soo hot!

3. Your own bed- sounds lame and boring but really you feel more comfortable, and you can just do anything and do anything you want cause its your own bed lol.

4. School- O-M-G sooo hot to jack off at school. The bathroom is empty you go to take a "pee" and you whip it out in the urinal and just do your thing with the chance to get caught or whatever sooo exhilarating for me anyways lol.

5. In a public bathroom- kinda the same as number 4 but not quite. Like when you go to the beach and you go change your clothes or whatever and after seeing all those hot guys you need to relieve some tension. Its sooo hot especially when there's other guys there but your in the stall and they are showering or something mmmmmm delicious.

Well that's my top 5 now I need to go relieve some of my....tension lol shower time =)

a couple days

2009-08-04T14:47:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a few nights but I usually post while I'm lying in bed and I post and fall asleep but I've been tired lately lol. But I saw A yesterday and he was looking fine as usual he comes home today so ill see him today too. This is gonna sound ridiculous but I made a wish on an eyelash today hahaha I wanna see a naked! Lol that was my wish maybe It will come true lol

Omg I got my twitter back! It got hacked and my password got changed and it took my like two weeks to get it back but I got it! That's my public twitter. I do have a blog twitter that can be followed and Ill give you the website lol and for a select few ill give my public twitter too =) as I am trying to keep my identity a little on the DL lol.

Oh my friends brother has been getting on my nerves lately you know the one I told you about with the big dick. Well he needs to shut up and it would be fine lol maybe if he walked around showing off his junk I could tolerate it more but...he doesn't so I get annoyed hahaha

I can't wait to see A today I'm really excited hopefully he doesn't work tomorrow too so he can spend the day at home and go to the beach or something (one of my suuper hot things, hot guys at the beach lol)

Suuuper hot things!

2009-08-02T01:45:00.000-07:00

I wanted to write a post on all the things I think are sooo hot!

1. The carls jr commercials. Omg when audrina is sitting there in her gold bikini eating that huuuge burger it is sooooo hot! I'm already obsessed with audrina as it is but seeing that commercial is like omfg!

The surfer one too where the hot guy is in his van and he's eating that huuge burger stuffing it in his mouth that's hot too!

2.Hot guys at the beach. When a hot shirtless guy is all nice and tan and wearing boardshorts that look like they're gonna fall off at any time that is soooooo hot!!!! Omg

Guys on jet skis trying to show off their moves! That's sooo hot

Guys playing beach volleyball getting all sweaty and they they fall in the sand and sand sticks to their hot bodies! Mmmmm lol

3. When you can see the outline of a guys penis. When guys where basketball shorts with no underwear or even sometimes with underwear and you can see the penis line that is sooo hot! Its all floppin around in there and it wants to come out! Omg its soo hot

Also guys bulges. That's hot too! When you can tell they are a little excited mmm ya!

4. Homoeroticism. Hottest thing ever when two hot guys are partying or something and they are naked pretending they are gonna touch each other or whatever is sooo hot one of my absolute favorite blogs is ADAMSCANDIDS I check that blog everynight before I go to sleep =) it always help relieve all the stress from the day lol

5. When you can see a guys pubes. Now this one is kinda a contradicting topic for me I love when you can see a guys pubes but its sooo much hotter when they are nice and trimmed or even shaved but mainly nice and trimmed. I know I shave and trim mine down I don't want a jungle down there! Idk how other guys do it but I just have like a strip in the middle it looks good soo...it works for me lol

Those are my absolute top five things that are soooo hot! Not really in order just in order of what I thought of them haha

The scarlett letter

2009-08-02T01:38:00.000-07:00

So as you know A came home and whatever and all I wanted to do was give him a big hug! I want to sooo bad go in his room right now and just talk to him.....I wanna be the one who's there for him when noone else is. Because noone really takes him seriously and thinks he's just an idiot who's too immature for anything which I think is really sad. I wanna be the one who's there for him all the time and he can talk to me and stuff and I want to pick apart his brain (I wanna do some other things to his body too but that's a different story lol)

I wish he would just realize I am here for him and want to talk to me and trust me with his thoughts and know that I'm not gonna just think he's overreacting or crazy. I really care about him. Its soo weird cause I know he's straight and has a gf who's expecting but there's just that something that just doesn't wanna forget about him.

I wanna know what's causing that feeling like any other person I would be like oh ok whatevs and move on but with him its different. Maybe its cause we've known each other for a while now. Who knows lol

But I'm done thinking about it one side of me wants to go in there and talk to him the other part wants to go in there and just go crazy on him and rip his clothes off and just have fun that way! Hahahaha

He Came Back

2009-08-02T01:31:00.000-07:00

Omg the greatest and worst thing happens today. So the best thing is that A came home today. The bad thing is I'm stuck on the couch cause I can't sleep in his bed lol. And another sucky thing is I leave tomorrow =(( so I barely got like an hour of his presence and the other sucky thing is he was having a talk with his aunt who is his legal guardian so I didn't even get to talk or hang out with him which sucked!

I'm glad I got to see him though and hopefully I get to see him tomorrow before he leaves again or I leave =( cause I really do miss him.

Omg the funniest thing happened today (well not by far the funniest but...) so I'm on a walk with my dog and m friend and she goes soo I hear you have a girlfriend. Lol I started laughing and was like no but your mom seems to think so lol. I told her the whole story about J and she was kinda shocked K was jealous and she thinks K has the hots for me hahaha.

Smoking

2009-08-01T19:31:00.000-07:00

So ya I have picked up a bad habit....smoking =/

I don't smoke all the time just like 1 a day but I used to be sooo against it but now I realized some of them actually taste good. See I used to only smoke when I partied and drank but now its become more of a regular thing....not good but what can you do right.

Well now I'm tired so I'm gonna take a little nappy nap lol

2009-08-01T19:24:00.000-07:00

So I missed yesterday but nothing exciting happened so it was not worth posting anyway.

I wanted to say if your reading my blog and its really sore on the eyes I apologize. I think I said in a previous post I do everything from my phones web browser which works really good but its hard to like upload a photo or decorate it the way that I want. But I promise soon it will change.

And I do want to say I talk about dicks a lot lol. So my blog tends to lean on the perverted side but its what I think about most and that's what I wanted a blog for to express those feelings so I'm just warning you know lol.

I hope the few people who have read and are reading my blog enjoy it. Soon it will be a lot better once I get more readers and have a bigger audience which I am working on right now lol

So in the meantime hope you enjoy what's inside my head =)

Xoxo
Superstar

Changes

2009-07-30T21:18:00.000-07:00

Ok so I haven't had my blog too long but i do want to change some things.

I wanna make my posts smaller

I wanna change the color and make it more intersting to look at

I wanna make my posts a little more interesting

And I wanna get some more readers

And thanks to some tips I've recently received (thank you sooo much) I will learn how to do all of this lol

I love my closet its huge and filled with clothes

2009-07-30T02:02:00.000-07:00

So I can always tell when its not an exciting day cause I wanna talk about more boring topics hahaha

I wanted to talk about being in the closet.

now with me I wouldn't say I'm in the closet I just haven't told everyone yet. I mean if they came up and asked me I would tell them straight up but I'm not just gonna blurt it out, its nobodys business but mine and whoever I plan on being with so whatever.

I hate the people that know someones gay or bi or whatever and pressure them to tell everyone. Like its really noones business in the first place, and second what are you gonna do send a christmas card with I'm gay written inside......I don't think so....I mean if you want to tell the whole world soo be it but for me I feel like its noone business but if they ask me I will tell them straight up whether its what they want to hear or not I am my own person and if you can't respect that then I don't need you in my life. Like it was funny cause I was riding in the car with my dad one day and we were talking about this movie....what was it....I think it was like epic movie or meet the spartans or one of those stupid movies well we were talking about how there were a lot of homoerotic scenes in that movie and it made him uncomfortable....and him saying that kinda made me mad cause he doesn't say that when he's watching his porn movies and some guys dick is all in some girls mouth. But two guys kissing makes him uncomfortable because they were both guys get over it! And I didn't say it but I was thinking what will happen when I bring a boyfriend over for christmas or something and I'm making out with him are you gonna be uncomfortable? I was gonna say it but....I thought otherwise lol

Now back to the closet thing. Honestly I actually like being around someone who's in the closet because when he's with you its different because your sneaking around and its more risky...idk I think it would feel different but I don't really know anything cause I've never been with a guy before...or really a girl for that matter lol I only had on girl in my life and we weren't even dating lol I just obsessed over her and didn't want to be with anyone eslse lol

And I think too for me its different because I can be with a boy or a girl so its...idk what the word is but...

And people tell me oh how do you know if you like boys if you've never been with one?

All I did was look down and was like because everytime I see a hot guy that thing gets excited and I pointed to my pants haha it was awesome we both laughed about it lol

But to wrap things up if someones having a problem coming out of the closet buy them some more clothes to put in there! Don't pressure them to come out its nobodys business

Xoxo
Superstar

Absolutly Nothing

2009-07-30T01:47:00.000-07:00

So today for me was absolutly boring. I didn't go anywhere I didn't do anything, I woke up and stayed in pajamas all day long lol

I do get to sleep in A's bed though which is awesome cause it smells soo good! He came home yesterday but I didn't even get to see him cause I didn't get my lazy butt up and he was already gone early this morning =( I Just hope I get to see him before I leave on Monday =( I want to party with him again..lol

Omg I have to tell the story about the first time I partied with him. It wasn't too long ago but it was good cause I was drinking some tequila and 7up (nasty) and ended up drinking more than a half a bottle of this cheap tequila, like the cheapest kind (now normally I only drink patron but we got it for free and noone else drank the shit so I was like screw it lol) but anyways I was like the only one drinking and everyone else was sitting watching aqua teen hunger force I think something about talking french fries and a talking soda or something like that. Well by this time I was already kinda drunk and trying to sit on this chair and couldn't cause the room was spinning and I fell on top of him while he was sitting on the couch hehehehe it was awesome he smelt sooo good and he didn't rush to get me off him he was just like laughing and helping me up lol but mmmm it was soo awesome lol. Then I convinced him to sleep in the bed with me (before I started drinking) and so after a while after I fell on him he was like ok I'm goin to bed. I wasn't really ready to go to bed but I knew he was going to bed so I wanted to lay with him so I went to lay down and there were already two other friends sleeping but it was a huuuuge bed we could all fit so we layed down and me and A werre sooo close like bodies touching and it was soo hot and we were talking our faces right by each others I could of stuck my tongue out and licked him lol (I didn't but wanted to lol) and I was sooo drunk I'm pretty sure I had that look in my eyes like I wanna jump your bones right now lol. So it ended up with him falling asleep I was awake throwing up lol and when I went back to bed I got as close as I could to him and was holding on to him and I told him the room is spinning and your making it better lol so he let me and it was such a hot moment we should have got it on lol

Well that wasn't my day but oh well I like that story lol

But that's all that happened today lame right! I know more will happened tomorrow I can feel it lol

Xoxo
superstar

My Profile

2009-07-30T01:42:00.000-07:00

Ok so as you can all see my profile is a little dull and boring. Now before trying to get people to come read my blog I probably should have thought about that before but....I didn't lol. One thing that's setting me back is I do everything for my phone. Its a nice expensive phone that does a lot but it doesn't do everything so until I have the chane to use a computer I will just have to wait to make my blog exactly how I want it lol.

Like I want a picture so I can not look like some wierdo who has no picture. But just wanted to say its not quite done yet the way I want it lol. But enjoy until then =)

Thanks

Xoxo
Superstar

2009-07-28T22:03:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone sooo my day was....interesting.

Let's just say somethings happened today that I would have preferred didn't happen... for example someone I know who used to be really close to me I used to live with him for some of my little child years showed me his shoe collection. You might be wondering well that's not so bad but..he's a crossdresser. Now I don't have anything against it I mean I don't hate on anybody for it or whatever but I don't need it flaunted in front of my face. But I will post my opinion on that issue in a different post.

So I was at the pool today....omg I love the pool I always find at least one hot guy there and just drool over him all day lol hoping to see him in the locker room changing lol. Well I found one. Now I wasn't actually in the pool I was there with my friend while she was babysitting and the kid she was babysitting was in the pool so I got to oooh and awww for a while over this guy. I think he was gay too or at least curious. But anyways he was gorgeous. Lol

I also just found out like 10 min ago that A is coming home tonight =D I wonder why though but I don't care at least I get to see him =) I'm excited I've been missing him.

You know what I realized I loove! Hot boys sucking on a lollipop without any hands in their mouth oooo that is soooo hot! They have to be cute though but omg lol.

I found some other blogs I like reading which is good hopefully they will read mine =)

Oh ya and you can follow my twitter at twitter.com/superstarsblog

My other twitter got hacked which is one I allllways use and I'm having withdrawls lol I need twitter lol

Well that's pretty much it for today I'm gonna post some other posts .

Xoxo
Superstar

Its all about A

2009-07-28T01:23:00.000-07:00

So today nothing happened...nothing exciting anyways. But then there's after I go to bed. I get to sleep in A's bed tonight! Yay! Mmm his room smells like him and its freaking delicious. But while I'm in here I kinda look around for anything interesting you know anything sexual would be really hot lol. Well I saw this notebook. I started looking throught it (I know its wrong forgive me) but I started looking through it and he's a pretty messed up kid =/ he talks about killing himself because he's depressed and noone sees that. (I always suspected it but...) and this notebook I guess is like his journal which I know I shouldn't be reading but I wanna get in his head. So I was reading it and he talks about how much he neeeds his girlfriend and how blah blah and how he misses her. And I'm thinking....damn I would never let someone control me lke that or make me crazy like that. But really some of the things were really sad and I felt soo bad for him. =(

I fantasized about me sitting down and talking to him about everything and just letting him vent and talk and whatever. And we would be in his delicious smelling room and just talk about everything and he would open up and cry and would tell him to hug me eventhough were both guys and he's straight to hug me when he's crying and I would be his shoulder to cry on. I think that would be really awesome lol. I mean maybe he's had enough of girl drama and just wants to be with a guy. I COULD BE THAT GUY! Idk just a little thought but sounds pretty good. But honestly I haven't even talked to him in forever cause he's been staying at a friends house working =( I do miss him though and want to just give him a huuuge hug =/ he really needs someone right now who's not just gonna be a lover but he3 needs someone he can trust to talk about things and I can tooootally be that person for him but I don't want it to be weird....

I think I'm gonna write a letter to him and leave it in his room right before I leave so he can read it and call me or text me or whatever...I figure we've known each other for too long to be worried about being weird hahaha

Well I think that's all for today idk if there's gonna be another post today but we will see...

Xoxo
Superstar

Meat or Stuffing?

2009-07-27T02:53:00.000-07:00

This is always something I have wondered. You know when your walking down the street and there's always one guy who has a huuuuuge bulge in his pants. I mean you don't see any defining lines but there's obviously something packin in there lol. So my question is do they stuff it? Idk anyone who would stuff their underwear just to make it seem like they have a huge dick.....but who knows lol. Like you see celebrities like the super hot Taylor Lautner with a huge bulge in a papparazzi picture. Omg that's soo hot! But I mean I would never go out with my dick soo obvious like that lol.

I mean it does kinda make me hot knowing that other guys are looking at my package like in the locker rooms I tootally take all my clothes off to change right in front of everybody I get hard first so it looks bigger but ya I love it when other guys are checking my dick out! And if I'm peeing in a urinal ill stand a little bit back so if they want to peek they can. You would be surprised at how many people check it out. I always check tout all the guys too so...and this one time I was peeing and it was right after a movie and the bathrooms are always packed after a huge movie and I always have to go check out the penis...always! So I was there actually peeing this time and some guys checking out my package and he scoots back a little so I can see his now he was older than me like 20 something so his was bigger but I think that is something all guys should do is let the next guy see your dick but that's just me lol. And it wasn't anything sexual just I saw your now here's mine if you choose to look and ya I looked the whoole time lol

Xoxo
Superstar

Morning Wood

2009-07-27T02:40:00.000-07:00

Ok so if your a guy you know exaaactly what I'm talking about. If your a girl this might be a little educational lol.

Morning wood has got to sometimes be the most annoying thing in the whole world! I absolutly hate it!...sometimes. now don't get me wrong sometimes its a good thing you know when your alone and you got some time it will toootally make your day worth while but other that that blah!

Now when other guys have it! That toooootally turns me on! Like one time I was at a friends house sleeping over, I must have been about...15 maybe 14 we slept in the same bed he "pretended" to jack off. Which I think he was really cause I could smell his cum after lol. And when he went to sleep I admit I got a little curious down there and started to check it out, couldn't see anything so went to sleep. Well the next morning I guess we both woke up and we were wrestling a little bit I guess and I made it to where he fell off the bed, well he was wearing boxers and his dick was sticking straight out of those things and I toootally saw it! And he kinda ran off to the bathroom and he was in there for a while I have a pretty good idea what he was doing lol. But its ok cause I was doing the same thing! Lol but ya I thought that was really hot!

Other than that...I haven't really seen another guy have a morning wood except my cousin sorta who I wanted to see how big he was anyways so one morning we got up and whatever and then his mom and dad were picking on him and his shirt kinda went up and I saw a little bulge real quick though but...you know lol.

But I would not mind seeing a guy with morning wood again lol

It is just soo annoying when you have one in the morning and its hard to pee and you don't walk around in front of people because they would see your big dick sticking straight out! Lol But I know I haaate having morning wood lol but you know the cure for that is I usually take care of some wood before I go to sleep and I usually don't wake up with one the next day lol

Xoxo
Superstar

Whaaat happened today

2009-07-27T02:26:00.000-07:00

Today was...interesting. Most of the day it was boring but twice today I got to see A! Omg he cut his hair and looked soo cute. He came in was surprised to see me (it was the morning so I was in my pajamas and had bed head but whatev) and he was talkin about something and then left lol. Then came back grabbed a clean pair of boxers and left again lol. Omg he is soo cute! I wish he was here more so I could just admire how hot he is lol.

I talking to K today we've been not talking for about a week now and she finally told me today she was jealous of me and J. And its soo funny cause I kept telling her just because I'm all gaga over J doesn't mean I don't like you lol. She doesn't quite understand that. OMG and I found out today that J is now siingle!!! but it sucks I already told K I wouldn't be like that with J because they are roomates =( but whatevs its ok I guess we will just have to wait and see what happens.

So what else happened....see nothing to exciting oh my friends brother (who's house I'm staying at) I think is gay and wants me lol. Now let me explain something he is like my little brother I've known him since he was like 6 years old....he's 15 now I think annoying as hell sometimes but he just has that look in his eye that he wants to know what's in my pants. I don't have a problem with that. The thing is every morning when he's in his pajama pants you can see his bulge soft! Not hard but he's soft and its huuge! He's packin! Now I do often wonder what it would be like to ask him to whip it out and show me ill show you mine and he'd probably do it, but I'm not that forward of a person lol but I know he wants to see it lol. Like this morning he came into the room I was sleeping in when I woke upp I guess to see if I had morning wood lol (I'm gonna post about that) he kept lookin down there to see I didn't have one this morning or I would have layed on my back and showed him a little bit of a bulge haha

But ya that's about it for now I wonder what crazy escapades will happen tomorrow lol

Xoxo
Superstar

the daily agenda

2009-07-27T02:21:00.000-07:00

So I've decided this is how I'm gonna work this blog. Just to get it started out it won't be so on track but it will work its way up lol.

so the first thing I will post is about what happened during the day that was interesting. Ill leave out the boring parts cause who wants to read those lol and ill post all the funny, crazy, hot things that happened during the day lol.

Then ill post a second post about what type of thing is on my mind that particular day and ya it will 95% be sexual lol

And then depending if it was a good thinking day ill post more but we will go with that for right now lol

2009-07-26T02:10:00.002-07:00

Hey guys so I wanted to make sure I made a post about the people in my life I have found I am crushing on or in love with at the moment lol. As of right this second there are two people I could just drop my whole life for and be with. Its actually funny cause

ones a girl who's absolutly gorgeous, she's nice, funny, clean. She can sing, she can dance, and she can cook! Omg right! Is there really such a perfect girl out there! Well yes and no she's not single =( but honestly when I met her she was sorta but not anymore. And I'm not really a homewrecker lol. And she always says how she wants to deflower me and she's always kissing my neck and hanging out and I feel like we have this good connection. But besides her having a boyfriend there's only one problem she is my best friends roommate.... let's refer to here as J

Now let me tell you about my friend I've known her for like 5 to 6 years and we hardly ever saw each other cause we lived in two different states but we kept in touch by texting and myspace and everything and now we live in the same state and I get the feeling she has feelings for me which are not mutual I do not see her in that way at all...but everytime I'm kinda talking to someone, like flirting and stuff she gets mad....but enough about her lol. Let's refer to her as K

The other person I really like is a guy. He's straight (I know I know) but he's soooo fine! I've actually known him since he was a little kid he's two years younger than me...but my other best friend since 3rd grade! Is his cousin so I've known him for quite a while. Even when we were all little I had this sorta feeling toward him but let me tell you he grew up to be one hot mother fu*ker! And the thing is is he's not shy. He will walk around half naked, he will go skinny dipping, he will show you his ass just because he thinks its funny! Lol have I ever been there for any of that....no! But he's sooo hot and I've slept in his bed and been through his stuff (not snooping but just like been around) and I mean we hang out and cool and party together and stuff. But omg he's soo hot! Just thinking about him gets me all hot and bothered haha. Buuuut there is a problem with him too lol. He's in a relationship with a girl who is pregnant and swears its his. I told him he needs to get it tested.....Let's refer to him as A.

More on them soon. I am actually staying at A's house for a week but from what I heard he's not really gonna be here =( but we will see =)

Xoxo
Superstar

soooo stupid!

2009-07-26T02:06:00.003-07:00

Omg ok so I finished posting my first post and then I realized the url for my blog is mispelled! Omfg seriously!!! Haha I mean its no big deal its just missing one letter but....omg so my blog is confessions of a superstar and my url is cofessionsofasuperstar.blogspot.com omg lol but its cool just bookmark my page and you'll be peachy keen =) well onto the interesting stuff lol

2009-07-26T01:46:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone so this is pretty much the same as any other blogs first posting just a little information about who I am and my reason for posting on here and blah blah blah all the stuff blogs do or whatever lol. This is my first blog so bear with me here lol.

So first a little bit about who I am. I am a 19 year old guy who doesn't care what's said to me or what I say to people I mean I'm not gonna be mean on purpose but if you ask me if that outfit looks cute and it doesn't ill tell you it doesn't lol.

This blog is gonna be mainly about my daily adventures and activities that are interesting lol. Mainly they will have something to do with my sexuality more than anything.

HERE'S THE INTERESTING PART

So let's get something clear here. Since my blog is gonna be mostly about who I am and my sexuality and what I do to pursue that let me explain. I am not gay, I am not straight, I am not bi either, I like to think of myself as.......open minded lol. I can honestly say I can see myself with a guy or a girl. But I dont classify myself as bisexual because.....well I honestly hate that word so....lol. I do want to honestly say though I am more sexually attracted to guys and idk why exactly but....it just happens that way. Lol

ANOTHER THING YOU HAVE TO KNOW BEFORE HAND

So now that we got that clear ill say my blog is about my "sexual" adventures. if your wondering why its in quotations its cause its not about having sex since I am still a virgin but that's a different paragraph lol.

So let me explain ya I am a virgin I've never had sex. Big deal. I do believe it will happen this year since I am 19 now and I am more open and outgoing with people and I believe I will have sex this year. But its like...if it happens it happens if it doesn't it doesn't you know. I mean don't get me wrong you see someone super hot you wanna just rip off all their clothes and smack it up, rub it down, flip it all over but I'm not gonna jump into bed with anyone just because they are really hot lol.

Soo now that I made this post ginormous I will move onto another one lol

I hope you enjoy my blog and my life and everything because I know I do =)

Xoxo
Superstar