Its all about A

So today nothing happened...nothing exciting anyways. But then there's after I go to bed. I get to sleep in A's bed tonight! Yay! Mmm his room smells like him and its freaking delicious. But while I'm in here I kinda look around for anything interesting you know anything sexual would be really hot lol. Well I saw this notebook. I started looking throught it (I know its wrong forgive me) but I started looking through it and he's a pretty messed up kid =/ he talks about killing himself because he's depressed and noone sees that. (I always suspected it but...) and this notebook I guess is like his journal which I know I shouldn't be reading but I wanna get in his head. So I was reading it and he talks about how much he neeeds his girlfriend and how blah blah and how he misses her. And I'm thinking....damn I would never let someone control me lke that or make me crazy like that. But really some of the things were really sad and I felt soo bad for him. =(

I fantasized about me sitting down and talking to him about everything and just letting him vent and talk and whatever. And we would be in his delicious smelling room and just talk about everything and he would open up and cry and would tell him to hug me eventhough were both guys and he's straight to hug me when he's crying and I would be his shoulder to cry on. I think that would be really awesome lol. I mean maybe he's had enough of girl drama and just wants to be with a guy. I COULD BE THAT GUY! Idk just a little thought but sounds pretty good. But honestly I haven't even talked to him in forever cause he's been staying at a friends house working =( I do miss him though and want to just give him a huuuge hug =/ he really needs someone right now who's not just gonna be a lover but he3 needs someone he can trust to talk about things and I can tooootally be that person for him but I don't want it to be weird....

I think I'm gonna write a letter to him and leave it in his room right before I leave so he can read it and call me or text me or whatever...I figure we've known each other for too long to be worried about being weird hahaha

Well I think that's all for today idk if there's gonna be another post today but we will see...

Xoxo
Superstar