still a kinda virgin...lol

omg so ok....my night tonight. was absolutly wild and crazy!!!!

so what im about to share with you guys is totally crazy and i mean if i cant share it with anyone else other than my blog followers who else can i share it with lol.

so first of lets say what happened in the beginning. i came over to K's house which was totally awesome because i want to see her and everything and i missed her. and i knew i wanted to get absolutly sooooo drunk!!!!! so i brought a bottle of vodka and she bought me a 40 of old englush (ghetto right hahha) well i drank half the bottle of vodka and half of the old english and i was smashed!!!! i mean smashed!!!!! i could walk, focus, stand, see, nothing lol. so after a while i starting feeling sick so i kinda threw up lol. and then i was fine and then we were chillin it was me, K, her boyfriend and another friend who we can call S. well me and s have known each other for a while now and everything and it was suuper fun hanging out with her. and before i threw up we were making out. lol i made out with S, with K's boyfriend (dont worry shes fine with it lol) and K!! it was sooo fun! usually i get kinda grossed out with the whole tongue in my mouth thing but it didnt bother me i guess because i was in the moment and everything was awesome lol. but anyways thats not the interesting part lol

so me and S were just chillin on the bed we made out a little more (after i brushed my teethe though haha) and we were talking about how im a virgin and how i need to lose that lol. so we all decided my virginity was gonna be gone by the end of the night lol. so we were making out and then we all decided we needed condoms so we were gonna go to the store and then i threw up again lol. so after i was done with that and me and K were talking and saying how we were both ok with what was gonna happen and everything i brushed my teeth again and then me and S went into the room and she was taking my clothes off because we pretty much decided we were having sex tonight lol and she was feeling me up and everything and heres the part i can only share with my blog followers. it wasnt working!!! i wasnt working down there! idk what happened or what but down there was not working out for me so good. if you know what i mean. so after a while of feeling it up and then she sucked on it a little bit it got a little excited and then we put a condom on and then she got on top of me and then we tried and then.....guess what happened.....it died again lol.

it was sooo lame! we were both naked i felt her up she was feeling me up everything was good and then she got on top and it just went....dead lol.

now idk why it happened im guess probably because i was hammered lol. but idk....but she totally knows how i like boys and i am more attracted to boys than girls and so she understood so she set me up with this gay bpy she knows who is really cute. im sure it wouldnt turn into something more than just a fling but i know i would want my first time to be with someone hot lol. and believe me he is lol. we were texting a little bit and everything and hes really nice. and seems like a good boyfriend but he told me hes not really looking for a boyfriend so thats totally fine with me.

but the sad thing is i couldnt do it! i totally had my chance to have sex and it totally wasnt happening. which is ok S is my friend and idk what it would have down if we actually did do it but i guess we will never know lol

but i am starting to ramble and kinda fall asleep typing so i will post tomorrow and see if i remeber everything anyways lol.

tomorrow night

Hey guys. So tomorrow night is the night everyones going out clubbing and I am hoping soooo bad to go. The only thing keeping me from going is how poor I am! Lol I absolutly have no money lol. I want to go sooo bad. Not only do I love going out but there's a chance one of my friends wants to bring a guy for me to meet =). Hopefully everything works out!

I've been stuck in the house all weekend and I am ready to party!!! Lol its been way to long since the last time I partied...mainly because of the move and stuff. But I'm just crossing my fingers to go!

So let's see what else is going on in my life....absolutly nothing lol. Its hard to blog when nothing exciting is going on lol.

You know what I need....a sugar daddy! Ha! imagine that lol.

Well hope you guys had a good weekend and everything was awesome!

Zac always makes me feel better =)

here's some pictures of zac to cheer everyone up =) he is so cute! I just can't get enough of him. I have to admit though he wasn't that great looking when he was younger but when he got older he turned into a gorgeous piece of man!

Oh and ps the picture of him with that little boy its so cute! Idk if that's his relative or just some little kid but it looks like he is soo nice and caring.

I can't wait to go to the beach one day and see him there all wet and half naked. Lol I would defintely take as many pictures that my camera would hold! Lol I can dream lol

tonight!

Hey guys. So tonight was fun. I went out to dinner with some friends and it so fun because now our new house I am closer to everyone so I have more freedom to leave when I want. Lol

So dinner was fun just a few friends having some girl talk time lol. And in a few days we are supposed to go clubbing and guess what?! One of my friends has a friend, a single friend she wants to hook me up with =). I think that would be awesome! I don't know much about him yet but I know he's going out with us when we go to the club. I'm excited! Now I definetly have to go. Lol.
So that's pretty much all that's been happening in my life lol.

Oh idk if you guys remember from a while ago but A who was expecting a baby isn't expecting anymore, they had the baby a few days ago. I guess it came out looking like him because I haven't heard anything about it lol. (There was some speculation lol) but I'm happy for him. I have been thinking about him a lot though lately. I know its silly to think about someone who's absolutly 100% unavailable but its a little hard to get over him lol. A few weeks ago I went out of town for thanksgiving and I was so close to him! Like so close! It was sooo frustrating I wasn't able to see him. Lol but that's enough about that lol

I'm thinking of starting a video blog also. I have some kinks to work out but I'm hoping it will be able to happen. So stay tuned. I think id be able to be more in contact with people that way. I would still blog here too so don't worry about that. I'm serious about trying to make this blog better than it was before.

Oh and one last thing. I'm trying to figure out why its so difficult to post comments on peoples blogs using my phones web browser so don't feel left out if you don't get comments from me. I am reading your blogs though. It works on some blogs but not everyones. Lol.

Well ill talk to you all later =)

here i am!

Hey guys. I know I haven't blogged in forever but now I actually have a good reason lol. I was moving into a new house which took foooorever!!! And have just been suuper busy with a lot of other things and just haven't had the time.

I missed blogging so much because there is always something on my mind and I know I can always express it with you all here so I hope I can be more on the ball about it.

My blog has cobwebs and I'm here to dust them off. Hopefully I will stick to it lol. I will get this blog up and running better than before and it will be a lot easier now because ill actually have more life experiences to talk about because I am closer to everyone since I moved so look forward to that =)

And also if there are any new bloggers that have started blogging since I've been gone fill me in. In the meantime I'm gonna read some of your blogs and see what's going on in everyone elses lives =)

some new info

Hey guys what's up with everyone?

So lately my life has been sooo lame! All I do is stay home and text and not even anyone important lol that guy I was texting we don't text anymore for some reason lol....oh well lol. I did like him cause he told me cute I was all the time lol.

I've been thinking about A a lot lately...it would be weird for me to just text him out of the blue...and plus his baby mama has his phone all the time anyways so its no use. I miss him though he was freaking fine as hell!

Me and J done really talk anymore idk why I'm sure if I texted her she would text me back but I don't necissarily have the desire to text her so idk...maybe this weekend. I'm gonna be with K pretty much all this weekend so that will be fun.

I've also decided I'm gonna be devirginized by the end of this year. Its not the act of sex I want to experience its just the act of being with someone in that way, having that connection with someone to sleep with them. You know ever since I've started hanging out with everyone since I moved I haven't met one virgin! Its like by this age they don't exist. And I don't mind being a virgin in a group of not virgins but when its all everyone talks about it makes it a little hard.

Does anybody by the age of 19 know any virgins? Lol ya I doubt it lol

But I'm serious about the talk always being about sex. And I mean aaaaalllways! And I just sit there quiet...and when people find out I'm a virgin they are completely shocked! Its ridiculous. Noones ever even seen down there except my doctor lol. And that hasn't happened in a long time either lol. I might have sent a dirty picture maybe but I don't exactly remember lol. I've seen a lot of dicks but noones ever seen mine lol.

So what do you all think of my little situation?

Thanks guys

.......cant think of a title

Hey guys. I feel sooo bad for not blogging in what feels like a month! But I have actually been busy lol. I have been at K's a lot lately and my phone is always dead there! Lol. But I'm at home now and felt like blogging. So here's what been going on lately.


So me and that guy who I've been texting haven't texted in a few days but my phone has been dead so I guess idk. Lol I was at a party like last week and met this awesome guy. And he was gay so it made it even better. Hopefully it isn't the last time I see him.

Oh and all my friends know I'm gay too which is not a bad thing. I didn't tell anyone people just assumed and I stopped correcting them I figured why waste my energy and just live it! Lol. I'm happy about it though no worries.

I have a new best friend!!! She's not a replacement from K she's still a best friend but I have another one! She's sooo awesome and we get along great. We are already really comfortable with each other its so much fun! We can call her "R". Ill be talking about her a lot so.

What else.....I'm moving out of my house soon and I will be waaay closer to everyone and be able to meet more people and have a good time which is amazing!

I haven't had a chance to read peoples blogs so I'm gonna catch up on my blog reading tonight.

So I've totally missed everyone and my blog has cobwebs on it which makes me sad. So I'm gonna try really hard to blog more often. But we will see.

There is something I wanted to talk about though. My week at K's house was fun but all everyone ever talks about is sex! Sex sex sex sex nothing else! I'm usually a quiet person anyways but when the conversation comes to sex (which it always does!) I'm just a little person in the corner not doing anything. Because I have nothing to talk about when it comes to sex because I have never had sex so you know its just a little awkward. And all the couples! Omg its soo weird when your with a group of people who are all couples and your the only one who's alone. Soo many times this past week I was the 3rd wheel or the 5th wheel its just sucks! Especially when my phone is dead and I can't use it to pretend I'm doing something haha.

So I will try and blog more I know I used to blog like every night and then I just stopped idk why exactly I just got busy or tired idk. I do really miss blogging though lol and hopefully when I move and am closer to everyone ill have more interesting stuff to talk about lol

Well thanks guys for reading =)

sooo sorry!!

Hey everyone. I'm sooo sorry I've been kinda non cosistant with my blogging and I'm not gonna lie I really haven't been busy just lazy I guess lol.

So my last post. I was saying how I met this guy and we've been texting and we haven't really been texting as much as we started to but that's ok. We talk about everything even people we are interested in like J and he has this girl or whatever idk lol but anyways its been fun.

Oh and thanks for the advice to be careful don't worry I would never meet someone in person that I met online alone. I would take K or someone or have her be in the background somewhere lol. Just to be safe lol.

So me and K are in a weird place we haven't been in the same place we usually are. Its kinda having me worried but whatever happens happens. Right now at this point I think we could use a break from each other for a while because I think we both are a little frustrated with each other.

Halloween was this weekend. Mine suucked! Big time! I was totally alone and by myself. In a way I guess it wasn't bad but it did kinda suck. It seems when we are single and alone holidays are just a huge reminder that we are alone lol. Don't get me wrong I looove holidays, Halloween especially but I noticed this year that being alone on a fun day like halloween sucks! Big time! I had noone to share the fun with. But J did ask if I wanted to party with her but I had no way of getting to her so it kinda sucked. She sent me a pic of her costume though =) it was really cute! Its taking sooo much of me to not text her every 5 minutes but I don't want her to think I'm bugging her so thats a problem. I can be very desperate sometimes.

Like with K I'm trying to take a stand and let her know things are not ok with us so I'm not texting her or anything until she contacts me first so I'm just waiting right now lol. But I am trying so hard not to be desperate and text her because I do want to talk to her and make up but I want to make a point that something is not right. So we will see how that works lol

So as you may know I am unenployed and so I venture over to the unemployment office and while I was searching through the jobs there was one where I had to talk to a counsler and see how they can help me get the job. Well it turned out the person who helped me was really really cool. He was gay and he automatically could tell the same for me so we talked a little and he was really cool. So helpful too I'm really glad he called my name instead of any of the other people there, I'm sure they are nice too but I'm glad I got him. He was telling me about this place where young gay kids hang out and stuff and I was really happy to find out and maybe I could go and venture out to meeting people.

so now that I am back I will read some blogs. I'm having some problems commenting so don't feel bad if I never comment your guys post. My phone sometimes doesn't work lol. But I'm reading them =)

OMG!

Hey everyone I am so sorry I've been kinda gone lol I've just been a little crazy. So in my last post I said I had a halloween party and so it happened and it failed we ended up leaving and going somewhere else. It sucks cause I put so much work into it but whatevs it was alright.

But that's not what I want to talk about. So I've been saying how I want someone to talk to and text and maybe end up dating or something. Weeeelll I have news! I kinda might have met someone =).

So I was trying something new and did something kinda lame. I posted an ad on craigslist.org and to my surprise some people replied and there was this old guy who was kinda scary and child molesting looking and he was kinda old and not very hot. But there was this other guy who replied. Someone who's the same age as me and we just started emailing and we found out we have sooo much in common. So by this time I knew I wanted to keep talking to him. So we exchanged numbers and started texting!!! Omg right! We ended up texting all night! Like we were up until like 430 in the morning texting! How crazy is that! We have sooo much in common like almost everything we are practicaly the same person. And one of the first things we did was exchange pictures. Just our faces no dirty ones lol. The thing is I kinda told myself I wanted to like the guy before I saw pics so I would make sure I wouldn't see him and say eww and blow them off. But I figured it should be ok. So he sent me a pic and he wasn't bad looking maybe a new haircut but not bad. No zac efron mind you but you know. But we still ended up texting for hours! Then he texted me again today and were texting for hours too!!! how awesome is this!

He also said to me that if I ever wanted to meet and get together it would be on him...awwww! I think I might be seeing an actual date in my future! Since we kinda were thinking about next week. And the cool thing is we are both unemployed so I won't feel like I'm a scrub and he won't feel like a sugar daddy lol. This is soo exciting!

You know what he also said...he said I am the hottest guy he has ever seen! Isn't that soo nice! He's a virgin (like me) he likes boys and girls (like me), he's in the closet (like me) we are soo much alike!

What do you guys think? You guys are who I tell everything to, I share so much in this blog and I love that! So what do you guys think? Meet a guy online and meet up with him? This is so exciting!

But also in my mind is on J. I am constantly thinking about her! But she hasn't texted me back in a while...I wonder why that is...idk it has me a little worried why she hasn't texted me. But I am always thinking about her and how much I like her soooo much! so getting involved with this guy when I'm thinking about J would be kinda bad. I wonder if I would be good at this lol. Dating is a little nerve racking I've never been on a date really. ...... how lame is my life if I'm 19 never been on a date....lol

So there's a lot other stuff id want to talk about but I will save it until tomorrow I want to hear what you guys think about this. =)

Thanks guys

hmm....no title drawing a blank :D

haven't posted in a few days or gotten the chance to read peoples blogs so fogive me. Lol I've been really busy planning a halloween party I am having this weekend!!! I'm sooo suuper excited for it. Its the first halloween party I've had in my new 5 story house so I'm excited!

Aaaannd something else that's exciting is J is coming!!!!! And sleeping over!!! I mean I'm not expecting anything but I have a lot of situations that could happen and they are all playing in my head like a movie soo I'm really excited to see if anything happens!!!!

So as you may know there has been some drama surrounding J you know with K hating her and me liking her so its gonna be interesting to see them both at my party this weekend =/ I'm not too worried about it. I mean I feel like I shouldn't have to choose between the two....oh well it will be ok. Lol

So part of me wants something to happen between me and J and another part of me doesn't want to because I feel if we do hook up that's all its gonna be....I want a relationship and I want to be able to call someone my boyfriend or girlfriend and then sleep with them....but I think I'm 19 and I feel like its time for me to break out of my shell and finally do that big thing called sex! Lol but I'm not gonna just give it up because I want to like I want a relationship not just a one night stand...especially for my first time....I guess ill just have to wait and see exactly what happens lol

You know what else I was thinking. I'm here its 2:30 am and I wish I had someone to text...I mean I wish I had someone to text anytime of the day but I'm just sitting here alone bored out of my mind! And noones awake! Lol but that is something I've always wanted is someone to text during the day who makes me smile and just someone I know ill probably never meet face to face but just to text and send crazy pics to each other and just be cool! That would be soo awesome!



Here are some questions for readers to answer just to get to know people better. I always like to know people better and love meeting people.

Does anyone have a texting buddy? How was everyone elses first times? Or is there any other virgins like me =) would be awesome to hear some first time stories or anything really lol you can email me or leave a comment either way =)

If your reading this just know I think your awesome! ;)

Happy Birthday Gorgeous!

So today is Zac Efrons birthday!!!!! Happy birthday Zac.

He is 22 today and I would have posted 22 pictures but I think this is enough =)

The things I would do to go to his birthday party! (The things I would do to him at his birthday party lol)

Its also been a while since I posted pictures...so here's a lot I know I've posted most of them before but oh well lol he is still hot either way.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZAC!

Im not in high school anymore stop acting like it! oh ya i came out lol

So todays post was tooootally gonna be focused on how I shaved my legs for the first time since I was on the swim team months and months and months ago. But I actually have some drama to share today lol.

So as you all know I really really really like J. And my best friend K hates her...with a passion. She was the one who introduced me to her in the first place and we all used to be friends until j screwed k over in some way I'm not to clear about anyways. So we were talking today, oh I came out to her today but I will explain that later. So we were just talking about people I like and she was very persistant in knowing and I just knew she was gonna get mad cause she always gets mad when I talk about J. But I told her anyways I mean she already knows I like her but I guess she hates hearing it eventhough she always brings her up. So anyways I told her J is who I liked and she got a little mad and she said she's only a little mad and she would get over it and she was done talking to me. So then I got a little mad because she never likes to talk about her problems and I am the one who does like to talk about my problems. So I kept telling her how I felt and it just got sooo stupid! She actually gave me permission to go for jessica and if something did happen she wouldn't get mad.....whatever that's a lie! But its soo frustrating but I have decided I am gonna go for J I want a special someone and it very well could be J. So I'm gonna do it!

So anyways I came out to K today. she asked me if I was gay and I asked her what made her think that way and she told me its just the way you are. I didn't know where to be offended or what to think. So I asked it that was a bad thing and she said no shed love me no matter what and I just got tired of playing around and I just told her exactly what I told all of you. Exactly the same thing. She didn't seem to mind. It might be a little weird to be around her now that I have told her. But I don't even want to think about seeing her cause I'm sooo frustrated with her! Lol so idk what's gonna happen.

I guess it sucked that right after I told her I liked boys as well we talked about J and she got all pissed off.

But besides you all I haven't came out to anyone so know that I have I'm kinda glad I did.

So anyways I just had to get this stupid high school drama off my chest! Its soo ridiculous! Lol

But I did come out today to one person.

And I shaved my legs...let's talk about that lol

I actually cheated and used veet...I like nair better but had veet so I used it lol. I love how smooth my legs are and think I'm gonna have to keep this up lol I just hate shaving them its such a hassle and annoying lol

hahaha some cool survey

Ok so these survey things used to be huuuuge on myspace and I would sit there and do survey after survey after survey and then I got tired of it but that was a long time ago and then I saw this survey on Bens Blog and thought it was pretty cool so decided to fill it out =)


By the way thanks!


1. First thing you wash in the shower? My arms idk why it just happens lol

2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Its a bright blue its awesome!

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? YES! And probably will kiss them again this weekend! It was J lol

4. Do you plan outfits every day? I'm a fashion major....of course! Lol

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? UGH like I have to much drama in my life.

6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red? Lol a hot dog on a stick toy hat that I pinned on my wall haha it has some red in it.

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? I was with some friends and A was there and some other hot guy and everyone was naked lol it was a pretty hot dream lol

8. Did you meet anybody new today? Nope

9. What are you craving right now? A big tommy burger!

10. Do you floss? Of Course! I take very good care of my teeth.

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Um.....cabbage....lol

12. Are you emotional? I guess you could say I am sometimes.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? In english and in spanish =)

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Definetly lick it! I don't think I've met someone who bites it lol

15. Do you like your hair? Lol ya its pretty crazy lol I get looks when I'm out in public hahaha

16. Do you like yourself? Of course I love myself.

17. Would you go out to eat with George Bush? I guess maybe I can ask him a bunch of gay questions lol

18. What are you listening to right now? Heidi Montag lol I love heidis music haha

19. Are your parents strict? Ha! No way! Lol one is kinda annoying though haha

20. Would you go sky diving? Yes very soon actually I just gotta take this class or seminar or something lol

21. Do you like cottage cheese? Eww!!!! No!

22. Have you ever met a celebrity? Um...LA is filled with them. I've partied with celebrities.

23. Do you rent movies often? Ya sometimes....depends on if I have the money lol

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? Yep! The shirt I wore for the fashion show I was in!

25. How many countries have you visited? Canada..... that's it.....australia soon hopefully!

26. Have you made a prank phone call? Hehehehe yep! Loooove them!

27. Ever been on a train? Of course! Trains are awesome choo choo! Lol

28. Brown or white eggs? Brown eggs...they seem more organic lol

29. Do you have a cell-phone? Of course that's how I have a social life haha

30. Do you use chap stick? I go through a tube of carmex every 2 weeks.....id say ya lol

31. Do you own a gun? Hahahaha I can think of plenty of ways this question can be dirty =) hahaha

32. Can you use chop sticks? Yes. I like using chopsticks more than forks cause it makes me look smarter lol. And plus I eat a lot of sushi

33. Who are you going to be with tonight? Me, myself, and I......sadly

34. Are you too forgiving? UGH unfortunetly! I don't know how to hold a grudge cause I end up missing the person too much lol

35. Ever been in love? Not in love love I guess...I'm in love with a lot of people but not that way haha

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? School I guess idk we are in a weird place right now.....sounds crazy right?

37. Ever have cream puffs? Cream puffs? Hahaha

38. Last time you cried? Awwww when I watched the color purple the day I was super sick! That movie is something else! I cried like 10 times!

39. What was the last question you asked? What's your problem?!

40. Favorite time of the year? My birthday lol

41. Do you have any tattoos? Not yet ;)

42. Are you sarcastic? Sometimes. I guess.. lol

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? I loove that movie and ashton kutcher is hot! Lol

44.Ever walked into a wall? Hahaha ya those crazy drunken nights hahaha

45. Favorite color? Pink, Green, and leopard print! I know that's not a color but whatevs! I love it!

46. Have you ever slapped someone? Not in the face ;) hehehe

47. Is your hair curly? Nope! Straight as a bored.

48. What was the last CD you bought? The cranberries 20th century masters collection =)

49. Do looks matter? Of course they always do! Lol

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? Knowing me ya probably.

51. Is your phone bill sky high? OMG yes! And I have noo way to pay it!

52. Do you like your life right now? Of course I do I always love my life.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on? Ya but it always goes to that screensaver thing for the dvd player cause I always watch a movie when I'm going to bed.

54. Can you handle the truth? Yes! I hate when people can't tell me something because they think I won't be able to handle it lol

55. Do you have good vision? Perfect vision! The eye doctor even said so!

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? Lol I hate a lot of people and a lot of people hate me but that's old high school drama lol

57. How often do you talk on the phone? Allll the time! Like aaaallll the time!

58. The last person you held hands with? J =) and hopefully this weekend too =)

59. What are you wearing? A short I got at disneyland, and some track pants, I'm getting ready to go for a jog =)

60.What is your favorite animal? My Cute doggy!

61. Where was your default picture taken at? Bathroom.....

62. Can you hula hoop? I looove to hula hoop!!!! I used to be sooo good I could hula hoop around my waist, neck, arm and wrist! 63. Do you have a job? Nope....I'm a bum lol

64. What was the most recent thing you bought? Um....cigarettes lol I know bad habit lol

65. Have you ever crawled through a window? Hahahaha ya!

LOL! A Little Experiment

Ok so I'm laying in bed and I have the worst headache in the entire world! So I'm texting K and she tells me the funniest thing I have heard in a long time.

Orgasms relieve headache symptoms. So she told me to go masurbate and let her know how it works. The first though that came into my head was how ridiculous that sounds! And I just laughed and laughed soo hard (making my headache worse) and then I thought that its kinda weird to talk to her about that kind of stuff (we don't talk about my sexual anything lol) but anyways I decided to google it and I read some articles and its suppossed to work!

Has anyone else head of this? Suppossedly it releases endorphins and it also redirects the blood flow from your head. I haven't tried it yet. But I will let you guys know! Its 12:25 right now and I'm saving it as a draft, gonna go do my thing and then tell you the result. Just a little experiment id thought id share with everyone =)


Saving as a draft 12:25 am

Ok so it is now 1:20am and I tried my little experiment and I have the results


So my headache is still there a little bit but it almost went away. I know during the process it wasn't there but afterwards it was there a little not as bad as before but still there. And the more time that passes it just keeps coming back so all in all I would say it doesn't work....

I have to admt it was a fun little experiment ;)

Are we addicted?

So the other day I was thinking how much time I spend on the internet. Whether its on facebook, myspace, twitter, or blogger posting or reading other peoples blogs or even looking at some hot guy take his clothes off. Either way I spend about 75% of my day online, 20% texting, and the other 5% sleeping. I will be online sooo late at night even when I know I have to wake up the next day at a ridiculous early hour. And most of it is blogger and porn. Maybe its because I have no life right now you know being single and not working and stuff but whatever the case may be I know I spend way too much time online.


If you look at my web history its obvious I like to look at porn (I mean who doesn't haha) and that's mostly the entire web history with twitter coming in second. I don't necissarily think its a bad thing. What else is a bored 19 yr old boy gonna do while all alone in his room lol.


Do you think the internet is a complete waste of time? I mean obviously its good for research and stuff but myspace? Facebook? TWITTER? I mean seriously what is twitter really good for? Don't get me wrong I love twitter and I twitter all the time but seriously? What is the big deal. Half those people following me I don't even know! Lol

So I guess the point I'm trying to make is, is the internet just an excuse to not have a social life? I know people are soo bad that they would rather stay home look at porn and j.o than go out with friends! That's soo crazy! I guess we just have the internet there when we are bored....lol who really knows. I love it and I guess that's never gonna change haha

my coming out......fantasy?

So first of all I want to warn you. I am sooo sick right now so if none of this makes sense I apologize. So on with my post. Lol

So I was laying in bed thinking how if I had a boyfriend he could come over and nurse me back to health lol and I thought if I did have a boyfriend and I told him to come over what would my moms first reaction be? See I know she wouldn't do anything drastic like disown me or anything (it'd probably be one of those situations where she placed bets with someone lol) I know she would be totally cool with it. Whatever. But the thing is I want to make sure I have a reason to come out. I mean I know I'm into guys for sure but what's the point if I don't have anyone to bring home?

So I was thinking about ways to come out and I did think of the perfect way.

I envision it around christmas or thanksgiving time when its all cold outside and I get to wear all the hot winter lines. And I'm living on my own in my cute little apartment. And I'm out shopping looking hot and I see the perfect guy. A Zac or a Jake or even a Ryan(not saying I would take someone with another name but its a fantasy lol) So I meet my Zac, Jake, or Ryan in the store and we just instantly know how much we want to be together and so we go out for coffee, then a dinner, and a few more dates and then its thanksgiving time and things are a little serious. I tell my mom I might bring someone to thanksgiving dinner this year. (Knowing her she wouldn't think anything of it) Then thanksgiving rolls around (I am not a big fan of Thanksgiving so if I had someone with me this year would be awesome) so thanksgiving rolls around and its time to go home with my Zac, Jake, or Ryan. I introduce him to everyone, everyone likes him already. Not introducing him as my boyfriend quite yet (they can figure it out) not being to affectionate, I wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. So we sit next to each other and just talk and eat and just have a good time and then its after dinner and we watch a movie or something and I get cold and snuggle up to him and just act like its the most normal thing in the world. And then its time for bed (assuming we stay the night which probably won't happen) we both go to sleep together and maybe not do anything...or maybe we would get freaky in my old room....sounds hot! Lol anyways just sleep in the same bed and then wake up together (by this time I'm sure my mom has to wonder and be talking lol) and then get up shower (maybe together, maybe not, might be too weird lol) and then say bye to everyone and the leave.

That's how I imagine me coming out to my mom cause it would be that simple my mom wouldn't care if she was absolutly 100% sure he was my boyfriend she would probably say something about being safe lol. (She does that now and I haven't even had sex yet haha)

So that's my coming out fantasy because it has been in my mind. I just want a boyfriend. Being sick has definetly made me realize how much I want someone who would drop everything to come and lay with me and not worry about how sick I was and feed me some soup and make me take my medicine and nurse me back to health.

So where are you Zac, Jake, or Ryan? Come to me already!!! (Oh and again, any name would be perfect I just love those names for guys lol)

So back to my life

So after I ranted a little bit and vented about this whole mess. I can post about the happenings in my world lol

So me and K sorta had a text fight. I know sounds lame but its true. I made the mistake of talking about J and she got soo mad! See she hates J and I told her I liked J and she wasn't talking to me. I got a little frustrated anyways so there's was a side of me that didn't want her to text me back. But I am not the type of person that runs away from my problems. I like to talk about it and evaluate things...so whatever. We made up by the end of the day but I was still a little mad.

So anyways J was out of town this weekend and she came back today I have to text her tomorrow to ask how her weekend was just to keep her talking to me lol. I've decided I'm just gonna go for her. No matter what K says I am gonna see if me and J can work out.

I'm just keeping my fingers crossed.

The only reason I haven't been talking about a boy lately is because there's sadly no boys in my life to talk about....see A I haven't seen him in like a million years and he's expecting a baby (who's probably not his) and he has a controlling girlfriend. I hope I can see him soon. Just to talk to him and look at him lol. He is sooo fu*king hot! Omg! And he is soo nice i have to admit I think about something that happened with him at least once a day.

So anyways nothings really been happening in my life except for the whole J thing which hopefully works out.

Don't forget to read and comment my post topic of the day.

topic of the day

So as I have read and been informed today is National Coming Out Day or something like that.

So this actually frustrates me a little bit. I've blogged about it before and I'm gonna blog about it now and probably blog about it again...

This idea that people need to be forced to come out is soo frustrating! I know its not healthy to be "in the closet" your whole life but what's the rush? I don't understand why people are soooo insistant on having everyone come out.

Who does a "closeted" gay person owe? What difference is it gonna make if they tell someone they are gay!

Coming out is a very hard and emotional experience that needs to happen at ones own time not according to someone else.

So its not just the fact its "National Coming Out Day" that I am posting this blog, I was on twitter today (I'm a huge twitter fan) and I will admit I follow chris crocker (you know "leave britney alone") I am a fan of his videos and just him in general but he tweeted something that made me a little mad.... here's his tweet

"Closet cases are just as bad as gay bashers. They hold the gay community back with self-hate. if you're not standing tall, why stand at all?" -Chris Crocker

Who is he to say that? How is someone who's "in the closet" self hating? Self hate? Really?

See I wouldn't consider myself "in the closet". If someone asked me straight out if I liked boys I would say "yes I do is that a problem?" I wouldn't mind but I'm not gonna just announce it to the whole world! For what? What's the point? Its not gonna make any difference if people know or if they don't.

A question you might have is why I don't reveal my identity here on blogger. People I blog about I'm sure would not appreciate mine and their stories. I hope that makes sense....

So let's just say....I will never force anyone to come out...if they don't want the world to know then so be it! Who cares who you sleep with? It shouldn't matter!

So anyways lol I would love to hear everyones thoughts on this. Comment and I will email you and maybe we can discuss it further I would love to hear an opposite point of view.....

I'm not here to bash anyones opinions that's not what I want to do I just am stating my opinion =)

Oh and p.s I replied to chris crocker on twitter let's see if he replies back let's see if he is too chicken hahaha just kidding lol

Im back!

Hey guys! Sorry I've been gone for soo long now its been like a week since I posted. I didn't get home until like Tuesday and then I was in this crazy cleaning mode! Like I cleaned my room from top to bottom I was washing the walls! I'm a huge clean freak if its not clean like I want it I won't do anything else until it is as clean as it should be!

So anyways let's talk about me "weekend" I put it in quotes cause it last from fri. Til Tuesday lol. So anyways as you know I was in a fashion show and that was amazing! I did soo good! I don't want to sound concided but I did do an awesome job! So after the fashion show, we were on our way to the fashion show after party and we get a call and say it was cancelled! we were sooo dissapointed! So we were asking people if there's a party anywhere..I mean its Saturday night there's bound to be a party somewhere so we find out about this one party but we have to bring our own alcohol....damn! Its like 930 pm and here they only sell hard alcohol in liquor stores and they are only open til like 8 or 9 soooo we were like what are we gonna do. So we went to a store and ended up buying beer, sparks and this bottle of cheap watermelon flavor liquer idk it was weird lol. Now I hate beer so I was dissapointed but I wasn't planning to drink that much anyways so I didn't really care.

So we buy or beer and stuff and then someone calls us and tells us to wait at the store cause she's gonna meet us there...oook so we waited for a while and nothing....so we were gonna leave and then we get another phone call from none other than J's sister! Omg! All these thoughts ran through my head like am I gonna see J that night, what's gonna happen?! I started to get excited! The more excited I got you could see it in my face and K noticed and didn't really like that idea too much. (She hates that I like J) So I am waiting and waiting for them to come I'm not even sure if J is in the car but I am hoping! Soo they finally pull up and J is in the car! I got soooo happy! The first thing J did when she got out of the car is come to me and give me a big hug and she licked my face lol. Normally I would be tootally grossed out and like eww get away from me but it was J I didn't mind lol. So we sat there and talked for a few and we decided to go to seperate parties and meet at one party later. So J kinda kidnapped me and just brought me in her car and she kinda cuddled with me in the back seat which was awesome. We even kissed a few times!

So I ended up going to this other party with J and her sister and her cousin, and it was fun....I took two shots of vodka (mmm delicious) and me and J were inseperable! We really were. Where I would go she would go and vice versa! I loved it! We kissed a lot! This guy even pulled out his dick and was showing it off and I didn't even care cause I was soo wrapped up in J I didn't care what was going on around me lol.


So after a while of being bored at that party we went to the party where K was at. And what a mistake that was. The kind of people that were at this party were the scary emo/scary punk kids who got drunk and screamed all the time....seriously they needed to shower.....it was gross! Ewww I just wanted to leave....so me and J and her sister were just outside talking cause we didn't want to be there. Idk where her cousin was...lol so it was fun. And then after a long time they had to leave to go pick up another friend cause we decided we were gonna go back to J's house and hang out. So they left me alone there....but I found someone who was super funny and awesome to hang out with so it was all good.

K was sooo mad at me cause I wasn't spending anytime with her cause I was with J the whole night so she wouldn't even talk to me nothing it was ridiculous and I was going home with her so I was like uggh whatevs lol we didn't make up until on our way home lol.

so we ended up going home and then just falling asleep it was like 4 in the morning lol I really wish I could have seen J again that night but I didn't and I was kinda sad about that but it was ok cause we made out soo much that night. And when they left she wanted me to go with her sooo bad! Like really bad she was begging for me to go but there was absolutly no room after she would go pick up her friends so I didn't....but its ok lol.


So the next night....we were going to have a litttle get together and do peoples hair. We had some people over and it was fun I had a lot of fun! We were all doing hair and coloring it and cutting it and we were trying to find a party to go to after but nothing....until....J's sister called and said to come over! Omg yay! I get to see J two nights in a row! It turned out we didn't go cause we couldn't get in touch with anyone (I found out later they got really drunk and we should have just came over) but oh well I was tired anyways so after everyone left after getting their hair done we just kinda went to bed...but I was ok with that I guess....

And then I went home and just rested from getting no sleep from the other nights lol

So that was my "weekend" sorry it was soo long but I guess a lot of stuff happened! Lol

quick post

so I gotta make this quick cause im absolutly exxhausted! I'm so tired right now but felt the need to post for some reason...lol

I'm with K for like a weekend and then some...I'm gonna be in a fashion show on Saturday so I am with her to help get the dance moves and stuff ready...its pretty exciting! So that's what's going on...I had to leave my dog at home which sucks cause that's like leaving my own kid! I hate it!

I heard on Saturday night there's a big after party so I'm sooo excited about that! But it is just gonna be a bunch of girls nd a few gay guys..if any lol. But I'm excited! Gonna get wasted lol. I've been feeling a little sick lately...I don't know why! I've been going crazy with the eating thing so that might be it lol.

J texted me a little bit today. I love talking to her. If I ever was to get involved with a girl I would definetly want it to be her =)

OMG the funniest thing happened to me today...me and K were driving and in the car in front of us there was this girl giving head to the guy driver! It was soo funny! I've always wanted to see that cause I didn't think people actually do that! But I guess they do lol I told K to drive up next to them so we can take pictures hahaha jk jk that would be creepy lol but it was still pretty funny lol


Well I think I better go I will catch up on everyones blogs tomorrow I'm really tired right now so I will do my reading tomorrow lol

Goodnight everyone and have an awesome weekend if I don't post anything until then =)

bored.....

I'm soo bored today....I slept all day pretty much! (I know so lazy and gross) I did find this HOT guy on stickam though. Sticakm is a webcam site for people to just be on webcam so people can chat and actually see them lol. I'm addicted! I have an app on my phone so I get to see peoples webcams, and usually I don't talk cause I don't want to lol but this guy was soo lonely so I started chatting with him! And he is hot! I don't think he knew I was a guy though hehehe (sneaky) lol not on purpose I just don't have a picture and it just says my screenname lol oh well it was hot!
But he had to leave and go jog I told him to come back all sweaty lol. I forgot about him in the hour I had to wait so I didn't go back and check lol. I like to watch the boys strip =) and its not all pornoish its just a few hot guys who joke around and take their clothes off sometimes lol. I'm not a big fan of the webcam sites where the guys are all already naked and stuff. I like to see cute crazy straight guys acting silly and taking their clothes off hahaha. And plus its free all those other ones you have to pay hahaha


So anyways I'm getting ready for my marilyn monroe movie night! Popcorn, marilyn, perfectness!



Also this weekend I'm gonna get drunk!!! Jello shots and jolly ranchers and naughty school girls! (The drink lol) mmmmmm delicious! Vodka vodka vodka! Lol even if they don't say to put vodka in it I put it in it anyways lol.

I gotta meet someone soon! I need to find a guy (or girl I guess) and just put myself out there lol.

Anyways! Hope all is well with everyone else. Love all of you! =)

Oh and btw! I got another follower!!!! Wooo hoo I'm up to 10!!!! Yay!

today....

Today was alright I guess lol. I found a few more blogs I really like, I haven't got a chance to add them to my blog roll thingy but maybe soon.

I also today decided I wanted to start making some collages of some of my favorite celebrities. I have been saving all these old weekly magazines, you know like us weekly, ok!, life & style, etc...

It was amazing to me how out of like 20 of these magazines I find only around 10 pictures of Zac Efron! I want this huuge collage surrounding a big poster of him! That's what I really want! I used to get magazines like J-14 and all those teen magazines for this purpose! Ok I admit not only for the pictures lol. But back to zac, his new scary movie hopefully comes out soon which means the magazines will be FILLED with pics of him so I'm excited.

So that's what I am working on, a huge poster of zac with little pics all around in a nice strategic way lol.

I guess I can focus all my desire for a boyfriend into the art of collage making...how sad is that? Haha

In other news, my followers jumped up by 3 today!! Woo hoo go me! It went from 6 to 9! How awesome is that! Lol I wish I got more comments though. Don't get me wrong! I looooove loove looove the comments I get now! Very much appreciated!

But yay 3 more followers! I'm movin up! Haha

Also, my life is sooo excting I finished my will and grace dvd collection (yes, I have the whoole series!) Not I'm onto my sex and the city! Another series I have the whole collection of! I love the wisdom of carrie bradshaw! And the fashion! Her outfits and shoes are amazing! And the sex in this show is awesome! Hahaha not as much penis as there should be but whatevs lol.

So I think that's all in my exciting life lol not too exciting.

You know what's funny though. I used to go out every single night! A different club every night of the week! And that was when I wasn't so outspoken and open. Now that I am I moved with my mom and that all went down the drain I never go out! I hate it! I party with friends and get wasted at their house but I miss the club scene I bet I could meet someone if I went out more!

I will make sure of it to go out way more soon. I miss it lol I want to meet someone. Its what I think about most. Which is very sad. Lol I'm hoping ill be shopping and someone will just come to me lol. One can dream right? Lol

i have decided...

So I'm just gonna come out and say it.....I want a boyfriend! Its true, I'm usually the selfish one who wants to spend all my time and money on myself but for some reason I want a boyfriend. You know that special someone you can talk on the phone with for hours and hours and not get bored with them, who you end up falling asleep on the phone with them after hours and hours of talking. I want that. Someone to go to the park with and hold hands, go to lunch and sit soo close to each other it feels like you are trying to go into their body.

I wanna feel that feeling where when you are with that person its like you are the only two people in the world! Is this impossible?

See for me its weird to talk about it cause I've never really dated anyone before. I had one girlfriend in the 9th grade and she was sooo needy and clingy, she was ugly, and noone liked her. I honestly can say I was embarassed to be with her in public. So when I broke up with her she turned out to be a crazy stalker. It was stupid. But other than that I haven't been interested in dating or being with someone.

Except one person it was a girl we can call N (sorry for the letters I'm not creative enough to make names I like for people so I use the first letter of their name lol) so anyways I loved her. She was like my best friend I thought about her all the time, we went out and did a lot of stuff together, I took her places, and talk about different stuff, her boyfriends, and other gossip. I always said I supported her except for the few bad apples, but secretly I wanted her to realize I was the one for her. She was perfect. I still talk to her to this day and when she texts me I get sooooo excited! I do still have a thing for her of course I actually loved her (and I can't say that about anybody)

But other than that noone has caught my eye to be someone I want to be in a relationship with. (Except A but that's never gonna happen lol) but now I have decided I do want a boyfriend, or a girlfriend I mean id rather have a boy but if the right girl comes along I could deal lol.

And its not even about sex like some people might think its not all about sex.

So ya I just gotta say that now this post has turned into a mini novel lol, just another chapter in my book haha

Well let me know what you guys think =)

penis in my face

That whole Monday night was awesome as you know with J and stuff. Well the next morning I got dry himped by this guy who is K's roommate sorta. Lol he woke us up by humping us. Let me tell you really cute! Ever since I met him I had a thing for himand that whole time on Monday and Tuesday I did get to know him and he's even hotter than I thought doget a little bi vibe from him....I mean he humped me the other morning. And it seemed like everytime I was in the room he got a boner (he would tell everyone and show it off lol) and the morning he humped us he got naked started jumping on the bed and the hit his head and fell on top of me I could feel his penis on my hand! It was pretty hot. He's also very big! Like he's a good size! And when he was with this other girl I know he didn't put out for her so I'm thinking xthere's a little bi vibe going on here. Lol or maybe its just a little wishful thinking lol.


So that was my crazy weekend lol it was pretty fun don't you think? What did everyone else do?

I kissed a girl and i liked it!!

On Monday I spent the day with K. We went to see Sorority Row! Looooove that movie! And my wife Audrina Patridge is in it. And as you know Audrina is on my wifeys list lol. She was in like 10 minutes of the whole movie which sucked but it was a good movie everyone should go see it! Anyways enough about audrina lol. That night it seemed like everyones was at K house so it was really fun we got two bottles of vodka and just took drank lol. I had 6 shots and 3 vodka with sprite lol I was pretty wasted that night lol. But before all that we went to go get J. =D K and J aren't really talking I mean K isn't talking to J lol .....drama. but anyways we went to go get J I was soooo excited cause I wanted to see her sooo bad! And she was getting a tattoo so I got to hold her hand the whole time it was a good experience for me I was there for her and she wanted me there so it was awesome for me lol.

So after her tattoo me and her had a few shots of vodka and we were just kinda ignoring everyone else talking amongst ourselves which I didn't mind lol. And then it turned out she had to go home early =(. But I got to go with them to take her and someone else home. She sat in the back seat with me and we held hands the whoole way! And then we were at her house and she gave me her number again so I can text her and she leaned in to hug me and say bye and then I turned to look at her, and it was that look, that I'm gonna kiss you look, and she leaned in a kissed me! Omg fireworks! I loved it. And then she said bye and got in the front seat and watched her go inside and went back to K's house and I was hanging out and whatever and my phone goes off. I have a text, its from J! We ended up texting the whooooole night! It was awesome! It totally made my day lol eventhough it was just a kiss, I'm totally fine with that lol.


Still got a lot of weekend left lol

im coming out so you better get this party started!

So Friday and Saturday were all about a party I planned all by myself! Well with a little help lol. See that's kind of want to do is plan events for like fashion shows and stuff but I also want to star in them lol. (Which is happening soon but that's later) so anyways I planned this party to be held on Saturday and aaaalllll day Friday I was shopping for supplies and doing stuff to prepare for the party! Which was awesome I love making decisions and picking out food and drinks!

Then on Saturday was the huge party. I woke up at like 7 that morning I went over to the party place and started setting up for the party at 1 it was exciting and it sucked cause our first guest showed up early! But it worked out fine and the party was a success! Once all the guests were a situated and worked out fine where I could finally relax it was time for vodka on the rocks! A lot of people think I'm weird for just drinking straight vodka but I loove the taste! I really do! So anyways I had like 3 of those and it takes a lot for me to get even a little tipsy so I kinda stopped there cause I didn't wnt to get drunk that night cause it was my party I was planning and I didn't want to mess up anything but it was ok lol.


On Sunday was a little bit of a break day. I went to chuck e cheese! I loooooove chuck e cheese! I don't care what anyone says chuck e cheese is delicious and suuuper fun! So I did that came home deep cleaned my bathrom and room. And drank some wine lol.

So that's half of my weekend let's go on to the other parts lol

Craaaaazy weekend!

I haven't had time to post cause I had I think one of the craziest weekends in a while. Sooo many different things happened lol I think I got drunk Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday night!!! That's a lot I say that and now I feel gross lol but it was fun! And the thing is I can't really say everything that happened in one post cause it would be sooo long. So I will break it up into a few different ones lol but it was pretty exciting! For me anyways lol.

sing to me....

I was watching an old episode of glee that new show on fox. And that guy on there is soo hot! Another guy who I don't know his name or anything but not only is he hot, he can sing! Omg I would looove for someone to sing to me. That has got to be the hottest thing in the whole world! I think that's a reason I liked J so much is because she sang to me. But when someone sings to you its soo hot! Unless they are bad but this guy from glee sings really good! Like really really good. Its like woah! I loove it! So any guy that can sing. I will just melt and will do anything for you.

Damn! Its sooo hot! I have to say this because I ...just do lol zac efron can sing hahaa. I was watching hairspray last night and when zac sings ladies choice! O M F G! It is sooooo hot! I love a guy that can sing! I love it I love it I love it!

Who agrees with me? Lol

Mmmm zac efrons new calendar 2010!

When is this coming to my house! Damn! These hot pics would be proudly hung on my wall! Mmmmm only 9 pics though.....12 months in a year but only 9 pics released today....hmmmm lol oh well I want it I want it!!!!!!!!

ITS BACK!!!!!

WOOO HOO! So last night I was about to post a blog about my favorite blog blocked by blogger and then coincedently my phone froze and couldn't post it. So then I gave up cause I just got frustrated and then I stumbled on his blogger profile and found out he had a new blog! Woo hoo! Adamscandids got pretty much shut down by who I believe is an anti gay employer at blogger shutting down all the gay blogs. But he is back! Adamscandids2 is launched! I was sooo happy and it just tootally made me day!

Soo everyone go check it out its a new look and everything all his old archives from the other one are on there as well so that's awesome as well. So let's hope blogger doesn't shut this one down too!

So check it out adamscandids2.blogspot.com and say congrats! He's awesome and his blog is amazing! Woooo hooo!

My celebrity husbands!

This was suppossed to be posted after my celebrity wifeys but it took forever trying to decide what guys I wanted to include. There's a lot of mother f'ing hot guys out there but there's only a few that are my absolute favorite!

Zac efron- Obviously, as if I need another post about zac but I just can't help myself he's soooo fucking delicious! (I'm not the one to swear but it could be used for effect!) This boy is absolutly the perfect person. (Next to jennifer aniston but whatever lol) he has the body, the face mmm the face, and the hair the everything. It just seems one thing I don't know is his you know what! But from the bulge pictures I have seen he seems perfect in that area too lol. He even has the perfect butt! But let's not talk about zac anymore I could write a book about how perfect he is.

Channing Tatum- He's gained a little weight recently and he isn't exactly as hot as he was before but mmmm id still hit it for sure. He was soooo hot in his model/step up days lol

Justin Timberlake- who hasn't fantasized about justin! Seriously in nsync he was always my favorite and he is still always been one of the hottest guys ever!

Now there a lot and I mean a lot of guys I didn't mention who make my pants just a little tighter but if I listed all of them it would be soo long lol

P.s. there are two pictures of channing because I wanted to show his hot body but that other picture is just soooo hot! I had to include it lol

My celebrity wifeys!

Because I'm using my email its not quite set up the way I want but you get the idea.

So I have this crazy obsession with celebrity so I am obssesed with certain ones. Lol so here's my celebrity wifeys

Gwen stefani- I've always been obsessed with gwen stefani ever since she was in No Doubt!

Next, Audrina Patridge- I said before I'm a huuuuge hills fan! Audrina is definetly my favorite she's absolutly beatiful! Omg I loove her soo much! And her movie comes out tomorrow so that's exciting!!!!

Sophia Bush- omg definetly one of the best actresses in the whole business! She doesn't get too many huuge movie roles but she should. She's on another one of my favorite shows One Tree Hill! And she's sooo naturally pretty even without her makeup she's beautiful. I love sophia I wanna see her in more movies damnit!!!!!!!

Paris Hilton! Omg paris, paris, paris. Blonde, tall, and gorgeous! A lot of people don't like Paris but if you look at her she has accomplished so much by doing almost nothing. She is famous for being famous, She is in movies!, she has her own record, she's a model, she has her own hair extension line, she's an author, and she has her own tv show! Now if that's not superstardom I don't know what is!

Now this list used to be soo big! But I reduced it because it was a little ridiculous! Lol but these are my wifeys lol

Straight boys, gay experiences

So there's sooo many videos, stories, and pictures out there of "straight" guys in gay situations.
These internet sites that have this stuff on it are not the only places I've heard these stories. Regular people actually have these gay experiences with their straight friends! I gotta say I'm a little jealous.

See nothing like that has ever happened to me! There's always been hot guys I've always wanted to do something like that with but it just never happened. So what I was trying to get at is. Is this something that happens or is it just a fantasy? And see now that I am older and more open about who I am it probably will never happen. But let's look on the bright side now I will have my own gay experiences that might actually mean something.


So have any of you guys had a straight/gay experience?

So I have a secret....sorta lol

Everyone seems to hate heidi and talk a lot of smack about her which she did deserve it a while ago but I think she really has brought herself up!

And she's absolutly gorgeous! Omg ya she's had work done but honestly if I looked like she did before (see the pic of her and lauren) I would get work done also! Lol

See I am a huuuuge hills fan! And audrina is my favorite but heidi is my second I absolutly love her! I waited for a store to open to buy her playboy (which was very dissapointing because all she showed was her butt but oh well she looked good!

Also her music! Omg here's gonna cause a little stir her music is actually really really good! Now I'm not just saying that because I love her it is actually really good! Give it a listen! For me you won't be dissapointed.

Love you heidi!

tore up from the floor up!

So it was labor day weekend and it came and gone and I partied! I went over to K's house and we drank like a whoooole bottle of grey goose between the two of us! It was delicious! See vodka is the best thing in the whooole world! Its delicious, I don't have a hangover the next day, and I don't get sick! Mmmm yummy! Lol

So we got to talking about things (like most drunks do! Hahaha) and we started talking about J how she's not friends with her anymore and blah blah and suppossedly what she told me J did is mean, buut its soo hard to get over something like that because its not normal for me to just like someone automatically like that. (Unless they are supper fine!) And not usually with a girl. So anyways ya that's what happened with that. Lol

But omg I got sooooo drunk. I was tore up from the floor up!!! Seriously falling over myself! And laughing at something so sttupid like the word the. Hahha seriously when I get drunk I laugh at everything! Lol. The only thing about vodka is it makes you suuuuuper horny! Omg really it does! Lol

Yes I am a virgin but is J was there and she wanted it right then and there we would have done it no questions asked! Lol

Or A hehehe I would have enjoyed A more but that's never gonna happen lol. Not anytime soon anyways lol

So what did you guys do for labor day weekend? Any fun parties?

why blogger why!!!!!

Omg so last night I log on to catch up all my blogs after the labor day weekend of partying!!!!!! And I go to one of my favoritist blogs out there! And omg it says permission denied!!!!! Omfg! It said its under review!

We probably all know what blog I'm talking about...adamscandids. Omg if blogger takes that blog away I will be soo mad and sad.

It seems to me blogger is being run by an anti gay group or something so they are slowly getting rid of the gay blogs.There are countless blogs that have been being deleted and just going away. Its soooo sad! And being new to the blogging community it makes me a little scared to think that blogs are being deleted like that!


I used to go to adamscandids even before I was an author of a blog. I came across it one day....I forgot what I was looking for or what but I went to it and was hooked! Absoultly hooked! I would check it every day and the days he didn't post (which wasn't very often) I would go through the hundreds of archives! And it was amazing! And now thinking there's a chance it could be gone forever is scary! I hope he will be able to fix it. I don't understand what their problem is!


I know there's other blogs out there but that was one of my first blogs I really really enjoyed where I would check it every day and it was just turned into a routine but I have faith in that it will not go away! I am really hoping and just crossing my fingers that it will stay and not be deleted!

Let's alll hope!

what i need to do

So I was thinking and I realized I need to dedicate more of my time to my blog. I kinda just put it on the back burner some nights which really isn't something I should do lol. See what usually ends up happening is I read other blogs and update myself on the ones that still update and whatever and then I end up falling asleep lol.

Also a lot of time has gone to stickam mobile. See this awesome app on my phone allows me to see peoples webcams and its really awesome. Now its not the best webcam site but its not bad. And since I can use it on my phone its perfect!

Like last night this...kinda hot guy who was half naked is sitting there and everyone was wanting him to get naked so he gets up and pulls his shorts down and shows his little briefs hahaha. Well I wouldn't say little but they were briefs hahaha so I've become addicted to that....again. lol

I wonder if there's another webcam site I can see on my phone? I will have to look into it! Lol

Wooo Zac! Gorgeous!

All this pictures I saved on my phone =) I always gotta have some pics of him =)

This is not even all of them =) lol