i have decided...

So I'm just gonna come out and say it.....I want a boyfriend! Its true, I'm usually the selfish one who wants to spend all my time and money on myself but for some reason I want a boyfriend. You know that special someone you can talk on the phone with for hours and hours and not get bored with them, who you end up falling asleep on the phone with them after hours and hours of talking. I want that. Someone to go to the park with and hold hands, go to lunch and sit soo close to each other it feels like you are trying to go into their body.

I wanna feel that feeling where when you are with that person its like you are the only two people in the world! Is this impossible?

See for me its weird to talk about it cause I've never really dated anyone before. I had one girlfriend in the 9th grade and she was sooo needy and clingy, she was ugly, and noone liked her. I honestly can say I was embarassed to be with her in public. So when I broke up with her she turned out to be a crazy stalker. It was stupid. But other than that I haven't been interested in dating or being with someone.

Except one person it was a girl we can call N (sorry for the letters I'm not creative enough to make names I like for people so I use the first letter of their name lol) so anyways I loved her. She was like my best friend I thought about her all the time, we went out and did a lot of stuff together, I took her places, and talk about different stuff, her boyfriends, and other gossip. I always said I supported her except for the few bad apples, but secretly I wanted her to realize I was the one for her. She was perfect. I still talk to her to this day and when she texts me I get sooooo excited! I do still have a thing for her of course I actually loved her (and I can't say that about anybody)

But other than that noone has caught my eye to be someone I want to be in a relationship with. (Except A but that's never gonna happen lol) but now I have decided I do want a boyfriend, or a girlfriend I mean id rather have a boy but if the right girl comes along I could deal lol.

And its not even about sex like some people might think its not all about sex.

So ya I just gotta say that now this post has turned into a mini novel lol, just another chapter in my book haha

Well let me know what you guys think =)